


Taste My Lust

by St0rybr00ke



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, Anal Sex, Angst, Broken Engagement, Broken Heart, Coming Out, Community College, Depression, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Oral Sex, Phone Sex, Rough Sex, Shower Sex, Song Lyrics, Suicidal Thoughts, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-26
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-01-05 22:16:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 32,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12198462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/St0rybr00ke/pseuds/St0rybr00ke
Summary: Bellamy's little sister is running off to get eloped with some army guy, his fiancée's running off with another woman, he's an English teacher at a community college for mostly burn outs, high school drop outs and kids from juvie. So he does the only sensible thing. He gets balls to the walls plastered and calls a phone sex line and gets his mind completely blown by the young man who answers. The new semester starts two weeks later (in that time he becomes one of 'Richard's' frequent callers). The kid in the front, a 19 year old high school drop out, has a distinctly recognizable voice, one that he's heard on far too many drunken nights.





	1. Chapter 1

He's sprawled out on the ugly green couch staring up at the white popcorned ceiling of his living room. Clarke always hated this couch. He's lost track of how many beers he's had by now. The apartment is silent. The TV is muted but the bright colors still burst out through the room and cast shadows over his tan skin. Clarke left over two weeks ago and he still feels as empty and broken down as the day she left.

_"It's me, Bellamy. And I really do mean that."_

Her words echo in his head as he forces himself to sit up and take a sip of his beer. He can barely even taste it at this point. He's been wallowing in a pit of misery and self pity. Clarke has left him, Octavia has run off to get married, and he's left to sit alone in his living room.

_"I didn't cheat on you, nothing like that. Lexa just makes me feel alive. She's beautiful, educated. I've never felt this way before."_

Clarke's voice is back in his head, taunting him, reminding him that he wasn't enough for her. Bellamy fiddles with his beer before he brings the bottle to his lips and takes a long swig to finish it all off. All that's left is warm bubbles and he cringes at the hot taste in his throat. He reaches out and sets the bottle down on the cherry wood coffee table. He and Clarke had picked it up when they first moved in together a year and a half ago.

_"It never crossed my mind that I was gay. I knew you were bisexual, but it wasn't until I met Lexa that I really questioned myself."_

Bellamy looks down at his phone on the coffee table. He had gotten a message from Clarke about an hour ago. He hadn't had the nerve to open it yet. He still hadn't had the heart to change her customized ring tone. It has been relative radio silence from her since she packed her things and left the apartment. Anytime he hears her ringtone he instantly hopes it's her telling him she wants to come back. But it never is. When he opens his phone he can see the message preview.

**I left a few of my scrub tops in your dryer when I left....**

The preview ends and Bellamy swipes the notification off his screen. Right now isn't a good time. He feels a steadily growing loneliness in his gut, he's drunk and wondering if he's about to do what he really thinks he's about to. He goes to Google and his fingers hover over the keypad. He quickly types it in and hits search. In under a second there's a million search results. He shakes his head at himself but he's too drunk to feel too much shame. He finally decides on the fourth result. Three bucks a minute was pretty cheap compared to some of the others. Bellamy clicks on it and the website pops up. The whole front page is only women in their underwear, all thin waists and large breasts. For a company that advertised as bisexual friendly it was looking pretty straight to Bellamy. He shakes his head, everything is starting to get blurry and hazy so hopefully he won't remember too much of it all come morning. Bellamy finally gets the nerve up and hits the crudely coded contact link at the top of the page. He brings the phone up to his ear and listens to the dial tone ring. He's greeted by an automated female voice.

"Thank you for your call. If you would prefer a woman, press one. For a man, press two. If you are a frequent caller and would like to request one of our workers by name, press three." The voice had a false cheerfulness to it for an automated machine. Bellamy thinks it over for a moment. The message replays once more before Bellamy hits two on the keypad. He wants a change of pace after being with Clarke for so long.

"Please state your preferred name and credit card number." The voice prompts. Bellamy decides to use his last name and puts it on his debit card. Last thing he needs is his bank freezing his credit card for 'suspicious transactions'.

"Thank you for your selection. Please wait while we connect you. Your charges will begin once the call is connected." The automated voice cuts in before it goes to a dial tone. Bellamy sits there in silence and listens to the phone ring. It's the only sound in his silent apartment and Bellamy begins to debate hanging up but before he has a chance to he hears the distinct click of the call connecting and it's too late now.

"Hey, Blake." A male's voice comes through on the other end. It sounds young and nonchalant. a brief image flies to Bellamy's mind of a faceless someone relaxing in a chair with a cigarette.

"Hey." He answers slowly. He doesn't know what to say.

"So what's your type, sweetheart?" the voice asks casually. Bellamy smirks and laughs through his nose.

"My type? Someone that doesn't call me sweetheart." He chuckles.

"Well you'll have to give me something to work with here, man. I get paid to talk but I can't work with silence." The voice doesn't sound annoyed, after all he gets paid even if they just sit in silence.

"Well, what's your name?" Bellamy starts with a question. He hears a snicker from the other line.

"I can't tell you my real name. But I guess you can call me Richard." The voice offers him. Richard.

"Alright, Richard. Well, I'll be honest with you." Bellamy is starting to realize how drunk he actually is. But this is a random anonymous stranger, who's he going to tell?

"My fiancée left me for another woman, my sister decided she's running off to elope with this guy in the army, so I'm completely alone in my apartment and feeling like absolute shit." he chuckles like it's a joke but saying it out loud makes him realize that he really is alone right now. His words don't seem to phase Richard, Bellamy's sure he's heard much more pathetic things.

"Well, how about you just relax and let me make you feel better?" Richard suggests in a sultry purr. It actually goes straight to Bellamy's dick. "So, what do you do for work?" he keeps the sweet seductive tone and it manages to bring a little smile to Bellamy's pink lips.

"I'm a college teacher." He keeps his answer vague, drops the community part of his job. As if he hadn't made himself sound pathetic enough already.

"A teacher, huh? That's pretty hot. Have you ever fucked any of your students?" Richard crooned like syrup in his ear and it makes Bellamy's cock jump. Damn this guy's good at his job.

"No, I haven't. That's kind of unethical." he realizes that he's not the best at this, but Bellamy was never good at conversation, especially not sexual ones with strangers.

"But that's the fun of it all. You know I'm a college student? Well, about to be one." Richard adds as an afterthought. Bellamy isn't sure what to say but Richard just keeps talking. "I bet you're pretty cute. You've got a really sexy voice." Richard murmurs sweetly. Even though he's paid to give compliments it does stoke Bellamy's ego a bit and he drops his hand to his pants to rub lightly at the half boner he's got in his jeans.

"I don't normally sit in front, but I would for you." Richard hums with a sweet little laugh. "You could keep me back after class, lock the doors. I would love to get down on my knees under your desk while you're teaching and let you choke me on your cock." Richard quickly turns filthy, but still in the same nonchalant tone as before. It's actually incredibly fucking hot. Bellamy unzips his jeans and groans a sigh of relief as he slips his hand down the front of the jeans.

"Are you touching yourself?" He asks Bellamy softly. Bellamy bites his lips and nods before he remembers that Richard isn't in the same room as he is.

"Yeah." He answers simply. He's embarrassed at how breathy and light his voice sounds, how obvious it is that he's enjoying in this.

"Good. Don't stop. It sounds really hot when you make noise." Richard sighs and Bellamy slides his hand into his boxers and grips his cock. "I'd love to spoil you right now, take all this shit off your mind." Richard continues, Bellamy closes his eyes and makes a small moan of approval as he slowly begins to rub his hand over his cock.

"Spoil every inch of you, take your cock in my mouth and let you grip my hair and fuck my throat as hard as you want baby, I'll be able to take it." Richard promises in provocatively. Bellamy sighs softly into the phone as he feels sticky pre cum spill out of his tip and down his shaft.

"You can bend me over your desk and spread me open. I want you to own every fucking inch of me." Richard's voice is dripping with sex and lust, Bellamy can practically taste it. He's embarrassed by how quickly he's about to come, but before this he and Clarke's sex life had been pretty dead. He hadn't had much simulation.

"Fuck, don't stop." he pants out helplessly as he gripped his cock tightly.

"I want you to hold my hips down until you leave bruises, let everyone know you were there. I want to taste you so bad baby, I want you to make me fucking beg until I scream your goddamn name." Richard doesn't stop and Bellamy is embarrassed that he comes to that. He spills hot cum into his jeans and it drips onto his boxers, it's gonna be a bitch to clean up. He moans low in his throat and tenses when he cums. He hears Richard chuckle and he's about to hang something but Bellamy instantly hangs up the phone. He sits there in silence, red faced with his hands down his pants and a stifling sense of patheticness. He's wiping his hand off with a napkin from the coffee table when his phone goes off with Clarke's text tone. Instantly his heart nearly pounded out of his chest and he felt a shame in his stomach. What was she, some kind of psychic? Did she know the perfect time to call to make him feel awful? He hesitantly opens the message.

**Bellamy I really need those scrubs. Can I come get them? I'm near the apartment.**

Bellamy groans and buries his face in his hands. Barely thirty seconds later his phone goes off again. It's Clarke's text tone. He looks at the message thread.

**You have your read receipts on. Can I get them or not?**

He really needs to turn those off. He hastily types out a message.

_**Not a good time.** _

It's all he types back before he clicks out of the conversation. He hovers his thumb over Octavia's chat bubble. He hasn't heard from her in three days. He taps on her thread and hits the phone icon. He doesn't even bring it up to his ear. She's probably not going to answer. His theory is proved right when it rings and rings and finally he gets her voicemail.

"Hey there, it's Octavia! You've reached my voicemail 'cause I'm in Vegas getting married! Leave me a message and I'll get back to you!" Bellamy lets the message play out, it's the only chance he has to hear her voice now since she left out of the blue. Bellamy ends the call before the message tone plays and stares at their messages. He finally gives in and types out a message.

_**Hey. I hope Vegas is fun. I miss you. It all kind of sucks over here right now. It'd be nice to get to talk to you for a little bit. Love you.** _

Bellamy hits send and leans back on the couch with a heavy sigh. He looks around at the living room and wrinkles his nose in distaste. It's a disaster. He'll clean it up tomorrow morning. For now he figures it won't hurt to lie in his own misery for another night.

He doesn't bother turning on the lights when he gets in his room. He shucks his stained pants to the floor and trades in his cum stained boxers for a fresh pair from his drawer. He throws himself onto his plush queen bed; it feels empty without Clarke there next to him. His phone goes off. It's not Clarke's ring tone. He looks at the lit up screen. It's from Octavia.

** I'm still in Vegas with Lincoln. I'll be awhile longer. I'll call you when I have free time. Feel better. Love you. **

There's nothing else. Nothing telling him when she'll be home or if she's married yet for god's sakes. He drunkenly lobs his phone across the room and rolls over to the middle of the bed. He tries to convince himself that it feels less lonely. But it still is, because his bed is empty and he knows that Clarke is curled up in bed next to a woman she barely knows, a woman she chose over him. And that eats him up alive.

_**Two Weeks Later** _

"Blake, good to have you back. How was your break?" Abby asks happily. Bellamy can barely even manage to give her a tight lipped smile. He knows that she's trying to be nice. Clarke is her daughter and she knew all about the breakup. But he knows what will happen if he really shows how truly miserable and lonely he is. Abby will tell Clarke about how heartbroken he is, how completely and utterly pathetic he's become since she left. So he just gives her a pained smile.

"It was great!" he forces to put some joy in that mood even if he has to force it from the deepest depths of his miserable soul. He can't exactly tell the truth. What would he say?

_"Oh hey, Abby, I'm completely broken since your daughter left. I've been getting wasted every night and I've called a sex hotline eleven times in the last two weeks to talk to a guy until I get off. I've lived off take off and cried myself to sleep more nights than I can count because I'm alone and my fiancée decided to run off and shack up with some lesbian she's known for a month and I feel like I've completely wasted the last four years of my life."_

Yeah that wouldn't sound good. So he just smiles and walks right on by her to his classroom. He sets his books and folders down on the desk in front of the room. He's always been very organized when it comes to teaching, but this year he's slacked a little. Mostly with Clarke leaving him and completely crushing and crippling him emotionally. He's still pretty well set up, but his heart didn't go into it this year. He turns around and writes his name on the board before he takes his syllabuses out of his folder to pass out. He makes sure all the lights are on, open door and he sits down at his desk. He sets the sign in sheet and begins to look over the roster and paperwork that had been left for him at his classroom. As students begin to file in he holds the sign in sheet out. He doesn't look up until he sees his watch click exactly to nine AM on the dot. He stands up and shuts the door and glances around the classroom. His community college is mostly comprised of high school drop outs, burn outs, the juvie type kids, generally anyone who couldn't get into an actual college.

"Alright, I'm Mr. Blake, you'll be with me for beginning college English. Pass these syllabuses down your row and look over them." He instructs them as he sets the stack down at the end of the row. There's a little murmur of conversation as the students pass the papers out to their classmates. Bellamy moves to grab the sign in sheet as he leans up against the desk. "When I call your name, just say here so I can put a face to a name." he says absentmindedly as he glances over the sheet. "Wells Jaha." he calls. A dark skinned boy with prominent features seated in the middle of the desks raises his hand.

"Here." He calls in a deep voice. Bellamy nods and goes to the next name.

"Jasper Jordan."

"Here!" A dark haired skinny boy in the back responds in a sleepy sounding voice, but Bellamy can tell by his red eyes that he's stoned out of his mind.

"Monty Green."

"Right here." The Asian boy next to Jasper gave a little wave. He's more upright and alert than the other but his eyes are just as red.

"John Murphy."

"That's me, right here." Bellamy instantly feels his stomach drop and he is sure that he has gone white as a sheet. He slowly looks up from the front row to see who spoke up. It's a younger looking boy in the front row of desks. Pale skin, high cheekbones with a brown fringe of hair dangling in front of his soft eyes. He has a prominent nose that looks like it's been broken more than once. There's a scar going through his left eyebrow down to his cheekbone. His eyes are piercing and there's a smirk on his face as he lounges back in his desk with the eraser of his pencil pressed against his chapped lips. He's very handsome, but it's the voice that makes him feel like he's about to vomit. It's that same voice he's heard countless times in the last two weeks urging him to the edge, helping him come. It's the same irresistibly sultry soft voice that he became addicted to. The man behind that voice (Or the boy Bellamy supposes) is sitting right there in front of him. And he knows that Bellamy recognizes him. He gives Bellamy a teasing wink as the others wait expectantly for Bellamy to resume calling role. He tries his best to hide his shock but Murphy's already seen it and he seems satisfied. Bellamy clears his throat and looks back down at the sheet.

"Maya Vie."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dang guys, y'all are blowing my mind with all the reads and shit. If you're a new reader then check out my Murphamy/Clexa story called X & Y!! Thank you guys so much you're all amazing.
> 
> I aged Clarke and Bellamy up to 24, Murphy's 19. Enjoy!

"So to sum up, review the syllabus and log into the course site page. Also take the student interest survey I passed out to you guys. I'll see you on Wednesday." Bellamy feels like this class has gone on for ten years rather than an hour. He can feel John's eyes glued to him from the front seat. The kid is watching his every move. Bellamy sits behind his desk and pretends to look over more papers on his desk. They're all pointless memos and student applications but pretending to look at these papers was better than looking up and seeing his student staring him down with lustful eyes. He's thankful for the silence that fills the room after he hears his students file out of the room. It's absolutely peaceful, it's like white noise filling up his head after having so many frantic and tumultuous thoughts running through his head for the last hour. That is until he hears someone clear their throat. Bellamy takes a deep breath, swallows his dread and very slowly lifts his head. Of course. The kid has a shit eating grin plastered on his face and Bellamy actually stares for a moment. He had been too nervous to stare before. John Murphy, or 'Richard', as Bellamy knows him looks young. Too fucking young for Bellamy. For someone with such tough looks he certainly didn't dress the part. He has a grey knit sweater on that looked just a tad too big. The sleeves hang halfway down to his palms and the bottom hem dangles past the belt loops of his black jeans. Bellamy's throat feels dry but he forces himself to save face. Maybe if he just pretends that they don't know each other then Murphy will work with him. Bellamy finally forces himself to break the silence.

"Can I help you, John?" he presses. It instantly gets John up out of his seat and the young man ambles up to his desk. When he gets closer Bellamy can see that he's cut thumb holes in the bottom of his sleeves. John puts his hands on the desk and leans over Bellamy. He has a smug grin as he looks down at Bellamy. Bellamy straightens in his chair and self consciously wheels his chair back an inch.

"I thought it would be totally pointless to sign up for this class. I told myself that there's no way this 'Professor. Blake' guy is the same one who's been requesting me." he jumps right into it. Bellamy clenches his hands so tightly his knuckles go white. John's eyes dart down to his hands and his grin widens. "When you said over the phone that your fiancée was leaving you for a woman I jumped to some conclusions, no offense. When you told me your fiancée left you for another woman, your sister bailing on you, I just assumed you were some kind of old, fat, balding loser, again, no offense," John adds hastily when he sees that his words have indeed offended Bellamy. "But when I was looking over my courses and I saw that name 'Blake', I just had to see for myself. Hear for myself I suppose." he muses. Bellamy still refuses to say a word. "Let me just tell you, all those preconceived biases, totally blown out of the water. Voice matches the body type for fucking sure." John gives him an obvious once over and Bellamy has to stop himself from cringing. Seeing John, hearing that voice, it's giving him flashbacks to the incredibly private conversations they've had and all the things John has _heard_.

"Isn't this kind of out of line for someone in your line of work to do?" Bellamy asks callously. John arches a brow and cocks his head to the side.

"My line of work? Blake, I work for a sex hot line, not a therapists office. The website says 'confidential anonymous calls' but we're not bound by anything like HIPPA." John scoffs in contempt. "I mean for god's sake I have your cell number and the last four digits of your debit card." John informs him. All of this is news to Bellamy who gapes at his student. John straightens up to pause from leering and run his sweater clad hand through his feathery brown hair.

"What do you want?" Bellamy decides to just cut to the chase. What does this kid want? Bellamy can't do much except give him a good grade which for a freshman English course won't count for much. John rolls his eyes and sighs.

"I'm not trying to get anything or blackmail you. I just thought it would be nice to have a chat in person. Since you turned out to be pretty fucking hot." he chortles. Bellamy buries his face in his hands and forces himself to think. If once, just once, he hadn't let his dick do the thinking then he wouldn't be in this situation. He drops his hands from his face onto the desk and forces himself to look back into John's pale face.

"Can I ask you something?" John nods his approval before Bellamy continues. "What exactly was your plan? If I didn't turn out to be 'pretty fucking hot'?" He's actually genuinely curious.

"Transfer to the second semester English and block you from my caller list." John shrugs his shoulders as if it's all obvious. It honestly kind of blows Bellamy's mind how he even had a backup plan. Bellamy takes in another deep breath. He's going to be a pro at deep breathing before the days over. He might as well go into yoga after the day he's had.

"So, you want to 'chat'?" he's still suspicious and trying to be a little standoffish. "No offense, but I think you're a little young for me. For god's sake are you even _legal?_ " Bellamy hisses the last word under his breath. He darts his eyes towards the door. John just rolls his those shocking blue eyes in an expression of mockery. Bellamy begins to think he has a subconscious attraction to blue eyed people, first Clarke, then John. It was becoming a pattern.

"I'm nineteen, almost twenty." John sounds like he's scolding Bellamy for having such an outlandish concern.

"Look, John,"

"Murphy."

"Okay, Murphy, I really don't think it's a good idea to get to know each other. I was incredibly drunk and depressed when I called your 'place of work'. I don't think it's a good idea to try anything. Especially seeing as you're my student now." Bellamy points out. It doesn't phase Murphy's smug self satisfied smile in the slightest bit.

"You didn't seem to mind the idea over the phone." Murphy reminds him teasingly. Bellamy clenches his jaw and fights the wave of arousal that washes over him at the memory. "Look, you're single, I'm single, you're completely heartbroken, I love to drink. No funny business, no work or school talk, I promise." Murphy suddenly turns somewhat serious and while his smile doesn't disappear it does dim a bit to a less conniving more sincere one. Bellamy wants to accept the offer but he's still on the edge and Murphy can tell. He sighs and crosses his arms over his chest.

"Look, my number's on the sign in sheet. I already have your number, text me if you want to have a conversation for free." He jokes but it still sends shivers down his spine. The last thing he needs is for Murphy to tell someone and have it get back to Abby which if it does it will go straight back to Clarke. He smiles faintly and just slowly nods.

"I'll... I'll think about it." Bellamy manages to stutter out awkwardly. Murphy grins.

"You look cute when you blush. Text me." He reminds Bellamy before he turns on his heel and heads straight for the door. He leaves behind a slightly befuddled and somewhat aroused Bellamy at his desk.

 

He's sitting in traffic when his phone rings. They're at a standstill so he decides not to ignore it. He glances down at the call screen and groans aloud when he sees Clarke's name displayed in big letters on caller ID. But they're adults, they lived together, so he sucks it up and hits accept.

"Clarke?" he asks slowly.

"Yeah, it's me." He feels a pang when he hears her familiar voice crackle through the speaker. "My mom texted me, she said she saw you today at work. I just wanted to check in and make sure you were doing okay." She's hesitant to ask. Bellamy understands.

_Okay? You want to know if I'm okay? You ripped my heart out, left me out of the blue after four years, moved out by the end of the day to live with another woman, left me with nothing and no one. I've wanted to drink myself to death since the day you've left and you showed absolutely no remorse or compassion in the way you broke up with me._

"Yeah, Clarke, everything's fine." Bellamy forces himself to laugh as he says the words. "It's kind of great, actually. I met someone." Bellamy doesn't know why he says it but before he can stop it the words come out of his mouth. He smacks a balled up fist against the steering wheel and curses himself to hell and back in his head.

"Oh?" Clarke seems to brighten a bit at that tidbit. "Who is she?" Clarke presses sweetly, but Bellamy is sure it's all hospitality and kindness.

"He, actually." Bellamy corrects her. His sexuality was never a secret, but he had been comfortable that Clarke was straight. It had made the lesbian bomb drop even greater and more devastating.

"That's nice. What's his name? How'd you two meet?" It's in Clarke's nature to ask questions. Bellamy should've known better than to open this can of worms but he had made his bed, now he has to lie in it.

"Murphy. We met at his work." Bellamy tries to keep it as vague as possible.

_He's nineteen years old, I met him through a sex hot line, and now he's my student._

That just sounds pathetic. He doesn't need Clarke to know all that.

"That's good Bellamy. I'm glad you're getting back out there." Clarke almost sounds genuine and Bellamy hates that there's not even the tiniest hint of jealousy in her voice. She's completely okay with it.

"Yeah. It's great." Bellamy doesn't mean to sound so clipped and short tempered but it comes out before he can stop it. "I've got to go, traffic's starting to move." Bellamy needs an out of this conversation before the questioning gets more intense.

"Okay, well I hope things go well with this Murphy guy. I'm glad you're feeling better, Bell. I'll talk to you later." Clarke says softly. Bellamy feels sick to his stomach.

"Yeah. Good luck with Lexa. Talk to you later." He quickly hangs the phone up and drops it back into the cup holder. His jaw is clenched up as tight as it can go. He swears he's going to give himself lock jaw one of these days if Clarke keeps getting into his head like that.

 

His phone buzzes at six thirty-two PM. He's cooking at the stove when the screen lights up. He glances over and sees an unknown number on the screen. He furrows his brow and peers over from the stove to look at the preview.

**M: It's Murphy**

It's all the message says simply. Bellamy feels a tugging in his gut. He feels a desire to respond and see what might happen.

_Texting a student from your class at six thirty at night, great idea, Bellamy!_

The voice in his head chides him, but his mother always told him to follow his gut instinct because it was always right. But then again his gut had told him to get an English education degree. And his gut had also told him it was a good idea to go after Clarke.

_Third time's the charm._

The devil on his shoulder chirps cheerily. Bellamy gives in because he's a weak man who wants what he desires. He set his spatula down and picks up his phone. He opens the chat and types before he thinks.

_**B: Hey, what's up?** _

He hits send without a second thought and instantly wants to crawl into the oven. He turns back to the pan on the stove and pushes the sizzling veggies around in the pan. His phone goes off.

**M: On the couch with my cat. Slow call day.**

Bellamy arches a brow. His curiosity gets the better of him.

_**B: You don't work at like a call center or something?** _

**M: Nah, the calls get redirected to my cellphone. Great gig. I get to work from home.**

**_B: You have a cat? You seemed more like a dog person._ **

Bellamy hates himself for entertaining this conversation. But this kid has a decent amount of dirt on him, especially if any of those calls were recorded.

_You're only doing this because he could blackmail you. Only reason why._

His brain reassures him as he turns the burner off and moves the sizzling hot pan of chicken and veggies to a cold burner and serves out a heaping two scoops onto his plate. He doesn't bother sitting at the dinner table. It's pointless without anyone to eat with. He only has a glass of water with dinner. With the new semester he decides he should try to cut back at the drinking a little bit. His phone buzzes and he sets his plate down to cool.

**M: Cats are more my speed. They're evil and hate everyone except their person.**

Bellamy can't help the confused smile on his face at that response.

_**B: If you say so. Apartment doesn't allow pets.** _

It's such a mundane and normal conversation. It's almost easy to forget that he met this kid on a sex hotline. Almost, being the key word.

**M: Speaking of pets, is that sister of yours back?**

_**B: Nope. Still in Vegas. MIA.** _

Bellamy slowly sets the phone down and stabs a forkful of broccoli, chicken, and carrots and shoves it in his mouth. The apartment is lonely. He never realized how empty it was without his little sister. When she's home it's always lively, she yells at the TV, sings and dances around the kitchen while Bellamy cooks, and watches shitty Lifetime movies with Bellamy on the couch. Now he's here on his own.

**M: That sucks.**

Bellamy doesn't know how to respond to it. But as usual, Murphy knows how to work with silence and turn it in his favor. Bellamy can tell by the type bubbles that appear at the bottom of the screen. He sets his phone down and resumes eating. The silence is deafening until it's broken minutes later. Bellamy looks at his lock screen. He's received a photo message. He's honestly nervous to open it. He did meet Murphy through a sex hot line after all. He carefully opens the chat and is relieved that it's not a dick pic. It's a picture of Murphy. He's holding a furry little creature in front of his face obscuring most of it. He's wearing a white sleeveless beater. The furry little thing can fit in the palm of Murphy's hand. It's pitch black with huge yellow eyes, they're slightly crossed and the kitten's tongue is hanging out of its mouth. But Bellamy notices more about the boy in the picture. There's a ring on his right index finger, a thin silver band. There's a scar around his wrist, completely perfectly circular like someone put a bracelet on too tight and it had cut him. In the background he could see the grey sweater from this morning draped over the couch. Bellamy looks at the caption Murphy sent with the picture.

**M: That's Skai. Kru is under the bed.**

Bellamy crinkles his nose at the name of the cat. His food is getting cold but he ignores it to type out another message.

_**B: What kind of names are Skai and Kru?** _

**M: They're great names. They're brother and sister.**

_**B: Kinda cute I guess.** _

**M: I'm fucking jaw dropping, thank you very much.**

Bellamy hates that he can practically hear the snark in just that message alone. He got to know 'Richard' through his voice. It was making it easier to pick up on his attitude and read his signals. And all the signals were pointing to the face that this was just a regular conversation. He doesn't have a chance to respond before he gets another message.

**M: I've got a call coming in. Text you later?**

It's so friendly and casual. Like a conversation between friends. He almost hates to see him go. It's so strange to think that when he was talking to 'Richard' that Murphy was just sitting there in his living room, likely playing with his cats just like he is now.

_**B: Yeah. That sounds nice. Talk to you later.** _

He feels stupid for getting his hopes up. Chances are this was going to blow up in his face either way. He really wishes he hadn't said anything to Clarke. But what's done is done. Besides, maybe he was getting himself down. Bellamy scrolls back up in the thread and taps on the picture again. He can't help but smile at the sight of someone who looked so tough holding such a small fuzzy kitten. Maybe this all wouldn't go horribly wrong.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Check out my other story X&Y. It has a little more focus on Clexa than this. Clexa is more of a background relationship in this. Let me know what you guys think in the comments!

_**B: It's been over two weeks. I'm starting to get worried. Please let me know when you're coming home.** _

Bellamy hates that he has to ask that. His sister can be inconsiderate at times. This is definitely one of those times. She seems to think that since she's eighteen she can just do whatever she so chooses. The clock hits nine on the dot and Bellamy glances up at his class. Murphy's right back in the front seat. Bellamy has kept his eyes glued to the desk until not making eye contact with any of his students. It was different seeing him in person. Every time Bellamy looks at Murphy there in that seat he gets a knot in his stomach and a lump in his throat.

"Hand in your survey students to the first row, I'll collect them and look them over after class." Bellamy announces. He's steeled himself for today so hopefully Murphy doesn't get under his skin. He waits patiently for his students to hand the papers up to the front row before he moves to collect them. Murphy offers them out to Bellamy with a muted smile. When Bellamy reaches out to take the papers from Bellamy he feels Murphy 'coincidentally' brush his hand up against his. Murphy gazes up at him through his dark lashes and sweetly grazes his finger over Bellamy's knuckles. Bellamy's gaze flickers down and he sees the scar around his wrist in person. He's wearing a button up gray and pale green flannel. It's unbuttoned and he has a black t-shirt on underneath. The sleeves are rolled up to his elbows. When Bellamy takes a closer look at the pale skin on his arms he sees a burn on his right arm, scarred over and faded by now. There's a few other nicks and scars on his arms that disappear up underneath the flannel bunched up at his elbows. He rests his chin on his bunched up fist and Bellamy can see the thing silver band on his finger. Up close he can see that there's something inscribed on the ring but he realizes he needs to move on and stop staring. He takes the papers from the last row and sets them on his desk.

"Alright, guys. Today we're going over grammar annotations and annotations techniques. I'll also be passing out the sheet on your hundred word personal biography today as well. They'll be due Friday." He steals a nervous glance at the front row and sees Murphy biting absentmindedly at his bottom lip. Jesus Christ. "Anyway, before we start going over annotations does anyone have any questions?" he opens the floor, looking over the students. Murphy slowly raises a lazy hand into the air. Bellamy nods to him to continue.

"What should we write about ourselves?" he drawls with that smirk that was quickly becoming familiar to Bellamy. He sighs.

"Whatever you want. About you, your family, your past, your future. It doesn't matter to me as long as you hand in a hundred word rough draft with annotations. Don't correct any mistakes. I want to see that you know how to use proper annotation marks." Bellamy reminds them. Murphy nods with a faint smile. "Any more questions?" No one raises their hands so Bellamy turns towards the dry erase board and begins to jot down bullet points. "Go ahead and start taking these notes down, we'll go over what all these symbols mean in just a moment."

 

"How'd that call go last night?" Bellamy asks Murphy abruptly. The other students have left already but Murphy dragged his feet putting his notebooks away. Bellamy speaks before he has a chance to think. After another night alone at home after Murphy stopped texting him, he feels the desire to have some type of conversation before he goes home to sit in silence. Murphy arches a brow as he slings his backpack over one shoulder.

"Good, had to finish up pretty quick. Em needed a ride." Murphy shrugs his slender shoulders and shoves his hands into the pockets of his black jeans. Bellamy looks at him curiously as he leans back in his chair.

"Who's Em?" he asks. Murphy grins.

"Jealous?" he teases. Bellamy rolls his eyes and give him an expectant look. "She's my ex. I met her when I got out last year and she moved in with me. We broke up a few months ago, but she can't afford the place so I stayed." he explains casually. Bellamy feels confusion set in. His ex? Murphy saw the confusion and shakes his head in amusement. "I'm bisexual." A look of understanding dawns on Bellamy's face before he reflects on what Murphy said.

"Out? Out of where?" Bellamy asks slowly. "What, were you in jail or something?" he laughs as he says it, but his smile quickly dims when he sees the serious expression on Murphy's face. "Oh..."

"Not jail. That's a story for another day. Maybe if you text me tonight I'll tell you." he grins at Bellamy as the serious look dissipates and is realized with that casual laid back attitude. Bellamy wants to ask more questions but Murphy is already halfway to the door. "Em's outside waiting for me. Text me, I'm not texting you first this time." Murphy warns him as he disappears out the door without giving Bellamy a chance to say another word. Bellamy furrows his brow as he stares at the empty doorway. His curiosity is getting the best of him and he's about to make a really stupid move.

 

"Hey, Harper, I need to see the background check that was run on one of my students?" Bellamy asked. The blond glanced up at him and cocked her head to the side. Harper was a student faculty member, helped run the front office and organize files.

"I can get that. Did something happen? Should I get Jaha?" she asks. She's clearly confused.

"Oh no, nothing's wrong at all. I just want to see something. No problems." He's quick to assuage her concerns. The last thing he needs is Jaha asking questions about why Bellamy is looking into Murphy's background. Harper nods understandingly.

"Name?" she inquires. Bellamy hesitates. It's a bit unethical to do this. He has a personal interest in Murphy and he's using his influence at the school to get personal information about him.

"John Murphy." Harper smiles and turns around to get the files out of the back. Bellamy knows this is wrong, but Murphy piqued his interest. Besides, he would like to know if the guy he was into had done some crazy shit. His phone suddenly buzzes and Bellamy jumps, startled. He pulls his phone out of his pocket and sees a text from Octavia. He instantly opens it without even looking at the preview.

**O: I just landed. I wanted to surprise you but I thought I'd better tell you. I'll be home from the airport in an hour. Love you!**

Bellamy can't help the smile on his face as he looks over the message. He had no idea Octavia was planning on being home today. It was sweet she had tried to surprise him.

_**B: I can't wait to see you. Finishing up at work now.** _

"Here you go." Harper appears back at the desk with a file. She sets it on the desk before she drops back in her chair and begins to fiddle with her computer. Bellamy eagerly opens it. There's only a few papers inside but the one at the very front catches his eye and also stuns him. He frowns as he picks up the sheet and looks at it in a mild state of shock.

"Holy shit." he doesn't realize he says it out loud until Harper looks up at him.

"What's wrong, is everything okay?" she asks nervously. Bellamy slowly shakes his head as his eyes remain glued to the sheet.

"Yeah, it's just... it says Murphy spent two years at AMR. Doesn't say why." he says slowly. Harper stands up to peer at the paper herself.

"AMR? That's where they sent your sister after her breakdown, right?" Harper says it slowly. It's known what happened after the Blake's mother passed away, but no one ever mentions it due to the touchiness of the subject. Bellamy holds in a flinch as he nods.

"Yeah, it's some bullshit mental rehabilitation facility for wards of the state." Bellamy scoffs in disgust. He takes a second look at the dates of Murphy's time there and shakes his head. "Get this, he got there a year before my sister. They were there at the same time for the 5 months she was there." Bellamy can't believe the chances of all this. Maybe Octavia knew him, had met him.

"Why was he in there? He doesn't seem crazy or anything. He was kind of an ass when he came in." Harper comments. Bellamy shakes his head and slowly closes the file.

"Doesn't say why. That sort of thing is withheld for privacy reasons." Bellamy sighs. It's not much help. But Octavia might know. She'd be home soon, he could ask her. Harper shrugs her shoulders as she takes the file back.

"Well if he was there for two years whatever it was had to be pretty bad. Why'd you wanna know?" Harper presses with a little smile. Bellamy knows she loves to gossip. Bellamy just smiles back at her.

"Just thought his name sounded familiar. I guess Octavia mentioned him once." The lie rolls off his tongue easily and Harper seems to buy it. Octavia refuses to talk about the time she spent at the rehabilitation facility.

After their mother passed things had quickly spiraled. Octavia had completely lost it, went nuts at school and got into a fight. The state intervened, declared Bellamy an unfit guardian for not being able to keep Octavia together. She was shipped off to AMR and over the months that followed Bellamy had nearly driven himself into debt with lawyers and court dates, moving apartments and bending over backwards to meet all the stipulations to have Octavia released in his care. Octavia knew he had nearly gone bankrupt to get her back, knew that he was still to this day struggling to pay back all that he owed. Thus the touchy awkwardness around the situation. But he has to find out why Murphy was there for so long, and she was the only person he knows who might be able to answer.

 

Bellamy jumps out of the car with his bag and tears up the front sidewalk to his apartment complex. He's been stuck in traffic for the last two hours, Octavia has to be home by now. He knows his neighbors are going to be pissed as he takes the stairs two at a time to the third floor. He can barely stand it as he unlocks his cheap front door and bursts into the apartment. He sees Octavia sitting on the couch and she instantly jumps up when she sees him. She lets out an eager scream and before Bellamy can even say anything she's tearing across the room and jumping into his arms. She nearly bowls Bellamy over as she wraps her arms rightly around his torso. Bellamy grins happily as he wraps his arms around her. He holds her close. Her face is buried in his chest and she's shouting something about how much she has missed him, it's all kind of muffled so he can't hear much of it but it brings a joy to his heart.

 

"So, you're doing okay with the whole Clarke thing?" Octavia asks around a mouthful of pizza. Bellamy sighs, he knew this was coming. They've spent the last hour catching up, and he can tell Octavia's been avoiding Clarke talk. He knew it was bound to come up eventually. He chews slowly as Octavia stares expectantly at him.

"I've been dealing with it. It doesn't help that her mom is there whenever I walk into work, just looking over at me like I'm some kind of puppy that got run over." he shakes his head in distaste. Octavia nods sympathetically as she tears into her crust. Bellamy chews thoughtfully before swallowing and looking over at his sister. "Do you know a John Murphy?" he asks abruptly. Octavia's head snaps up and her dark eyes widen. She swallows hard.

"Yeah, I had some 'group therapy' with him. Why?" she asks bluntly and Bellamy shifts in his seat.

"There's this kid in my class. Well, not a kid. He's nineteen, and he's been flirting with me." Bellamy puts it tastefully. He's still unwilling to admit how he really met Murphy. Octavia's jaw gapes and Bellamy groans in disgusted when he sees a mess of chewed pizza in her mouth. "Christ close your mouth." he chides her. Octavia hastily closes her mouth. "He said something about getting out so I thought he meant jail, but when I looked at his background check it said he was at AMR the same time you were. It doesn't say why he was there. Do you know why?" he asks hopefully. This is something they've never spoken about, he can tell it's making Octavia a little nervous as she shifts on the couch. She slowly nods.

"Yeah, you might not like it though." she warns him. Bellamy just sits and waits for the ball to drop. "Well, I never heard it directly from him, but a few people knew what happened. His mom was under investigation for child abuse, so he was a ward of the state until everything got figured." Bellamy's stomach knots up and he's beginning to regret asking. But Octavia continues. "So his mom ended up passing away, alcohol poisoning or something. He was going to get moved to a group home when he went psycho and tried to burn some guy's house down. Judge ruled it as a mental breakdown and put him in AMR." she takes another huge bite of pizza. Bellamy takes a deep breath. So, the guy from the phone sex hotline was an attempted arsonist. He shouldn't be surprised.

"So, what was he like?" he asks curiously. Octavia frowns in thought as she chokes down her overly ambitious mouthful.

"He was a major dick. He was always pissed off. He'd fight anyone, it's why he was in there so long. Cause he was never 'rehabilitated' I guess. Most everyone hated him. One of the 'counselors' was suspended because of him." Octavia sighs at the memory.

"What happened?" Bellamy presses further. The more he finds out, the more he wants to know more. Octavia smiles very weakly.

"Are you sure you want to hear this? I mean, do you like this guy?"

"I don't know if I like him. Just spit it out. He doesn't seem like a sharer." Bellamy sighs. Octavia takes a deep breath.

"Fine, but you can't tell him I told you this." Octavia warns him. "There was this guy, Pike. He used to be a cop or something but got booted off the force so he came to work as a 'counselor'. He hated Murphy, they were always at each others throats. Anyway, one day when we all had group, Pike was acting weird. He was all over Murphy, trying to antagonize him. As soon as Murphy stood up, Pike punched him, started knocking him around. Couple security guards had to pull him off Murphy. Pike broke his nose, bruised some of his ribs. Murphy hit his head and shit when he went down. Pike got suspended for it, Murphy got taken to solitary. I left a week later, but I didn't see him once in that last week." Octavia shakes her head morosely. "Murphy was an ass, don't get me wrong, but Pike really did a number on him, Bell. I felt so bad for the kid. At least now I know that he's okay." Octavia sighs softly as she leans back in her chair. Bellamy's horrified, horrified that something like that happened to Murphy, more horrified that the state locked his sister up there. He sags back in his chair with a frown, no longer interested in his pizza. His appetite's gone. Octavia can read him like an open book. She quietly stands up and begins to gather their plates. She sets them on top of the pizza box and gives him a sympathetic smile.

"I'm gonna go clean up. I hope whatever's going on with you and him go well." she says sweetly. She leans over to kiss him on the cheek before she grabs the pizza box and disappears into the kitchen. Bellamy sits there, feeling numb for a moment before he slowly pulls his phone out. He thinks long and hard for a moment before he unlocks his phone and goes to Murphy's chat thread. The picture is still up, the one Murphy had sent of him and his cat. Bellamy lets his gaze linger on the photograph. He'd come into this conversation thinking Murphy must've done something terrible, and while attempted arson wasn't great, he still wondered how Murphy had managed to last two years at AMR. He remembers seeing Murphy's busted nose in class and realizes that must have been from Pike. He takes a deep breath and decides to grow some balls. He hastily types out a message and before he lets himself think about it he hits send. He groans and tosses his phone down on the table. His eyes are glued to the screen, to his message as he counts how long it takes Murphy to get back to him.

_**B: I think I'll take you up on that offer to chat.** _


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm so shocked this is doing so well. Thank you so much for the support. I love hearing from you guys so please leave feedback on anything you like, would like to see happen in the story, or anything I could do better. Love you all! 
> 
> P.S. I'm sorry it's so short, I have class tomorrow morning and couldn't write a super long chapter. Please let me know what you all think!

Murphy doesn't text back. Bellamy sits and stares at his phone while Octavia watches TV for the next hour. It doesn't buzz, ring or beep, not even a little chirp. Bellamy feels let down, Octavia keeps shooting him sympathetic glances during the commercial breaks. Then suddenly it starts to ring. Bellamy furrows his brow and reaches out to grab his phone from the coffee table.

"Who is it?" Octavia asks lazily. Bellamy hasn't saved Murphy's number yet, but he recognizes it on the screen. 

"I'm gonna take this in the kitchen." he mumbles. Octavia instantly grins, she can see right through him. She lets him go without a fuss. Bellamy darts into the kitchen and answers the phone before it can go to voicemail. "Hello?"

"Hey, sorry for not texting back." Murphy drawls. Bellamy can hear music and voices in the background. "Em invited some friends over, we've been having fun." he chuckles and Bellamy wonders if he's been drinking. 

"It's okay, I was watching TV with my sister anyway." Bellamy pretends like he hasn't been having a staring contest with his cellphone for the last hour waiting for a message back. 

"Oh, she's back home? That's nice." Bellamy can hear a girl's voice in the background getting closer. "Em, shut the fuck up for five seconds, I can't hear shit over you." He hears Murphy snap. The female voice fades.

"Isn't it weird; living with your ex?" Bellamy asks suddenly. He can't imagine still living with Clarke. It was awkward enough whenever she texted him, but living with her would only be a hundred times worse.

"It's not actually that bad. We had a pretty amicable breakup. We just weren't a good match. We're just friends now." Bellamy can practically see the shrug Murphy's doing right now. He wonders how someone so laid back could have been with his sister in AMR. But he tries not to think about that, he doesn't want to drive Murphy off. 

"God, I can't imagine living with my ex." Bellamy groans, shaking his head as if shaking off the bad thoughts. He can hear Murphy laughing on the other end.

"Well your ex sounds like kind of a bitch. I mean, you're like a walking sex god." Murphy purrs. Bellamy's cheeks instantly turn red and he has to bite back a smile. 

"Well, I have a dick, and apparently that's not her thing anymore." Bellamy sighs. 

"Well, so do I, and I'm kind of into the whole dick thing you've got going on." He's teasing, but Bellamy can't help the way his heart flutters a bit. "You know, we have these parties at Em and I's place pretty frequently. You should come to the next one. I'd invite you over, but things are going to start winding down soon. Everyone's pretty drunk." Murphy slips up and his words slur a bit. Bellamy grins.

"I think it would be a bit unethical for me to go drink with my underage student." Bellamy scolds him, but there's no heat behind it. It's apparent that Bellamy would actually enjoy something like that.

"You and your damn ethics. Don't know that it's fun to break the rules once in awhile?" Murphy cheers. Bellamy realizes the irony in that now. 

"Well, hopefully you're not too hungover to come to my class tomorrow."

"God no. Wouldn't miss your class for the world." Murphy's obviously flirting and Bellamy's mouth goes dry. He's never been the best at this. Clarke said he was great, but he felt his skills were rusty after being with Clarke for so long. 

"What time do you get to the school building?" Murphy suddenly asks. Bellamy stutters for a moment.

"About eight thirty. Why?"

"Just curious." He can hear the mischievousness in Murphy's voice. Bellamy suddenly hears a loud crash in the background and Murphy groans loudly. "What in the fuck, Raven, that was expensive!" he winces and holds the phone away from his ear when he hears Murphy yell. "Look, I've got to go. These assholes are tearing my apartment apart. I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"

"Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow. Good luck with your apartment." Bellamy chuckles in amusement. He remembers being Murphy's age and going to parties. Then he joined the adult world. There's a click as Murphy hangs up, and Bellamy's left in the silent kitchen. He can hear the sound of the TV in the living room and slowly walks back and drops onto the couch next to Octavia. His little sister looks over at him with a smug smirk on her plump lips. 

"Bellamy loves Murphy." She teases in a sing song voice. Bellamy cringes and reaches out to smack her on the arm. 

"Shut up, I do not. He's just kind of cute." Octavia can hear the defensive tone, she drops it but her self assured smile remains plastered on her face as she looks at the TV. "I think I'm going to head to bed." Bellamy sighs as he gets up from the couch. Octavia groans and swats at him. 

"It's so early, you're such an old man, Bellamy." she huffs. Bellamy rolls his eyes and just leans over to kiss her hair.

"I've got an early class tomorrow. I'll be home in the afternoon. There's some leftovers in the fridge for lunch. Get some sleep, don't be up too late." He warns her. Octavia smiles innocently up at him. 

"I never would. Love you, Bell." she teases. Bellamy rolls his eyes, she's impossible sometimes but he does love her to death. He pats her shoulder as he walks behind the couch to his room. He throws himself onto his mattress with phone in hand and eyes glued to the ceiling. Somehow his bed feels a little less lonely tonight.

 

He pulls up into the faculty parking lot at precisely eight thirty. He goes about grabbing his bag, locking his car, and begins to make his way towards the door. Then he stops in his tracks when he sees Murphy. The teen is sitting on the curb of the sidewalk with his phone out in one hand and a cigarette dangling from the other. The gray smoke curls up past his face and dissolves into the sky. Murphy glances up from his phone and spots Bellamy. A wide grin splits his face and he shoves his phone in his pocket. 

"Look who it is." Murphy flicks ash off his cigarette and gives Bellamy a little wink. Bellamy's ashamed that he actually blushes a bit. He keeps his cool however, at least he hopes he does. 

"So this is why you asked what time I got to the building." Bellamy states the obvious. Murphy nods. He brings his cigarette up to his lips and takes a long drag. Bellamy hates smoking but he has to admit that it's incredibly sexy to see Murphy hollow his cheeks out as he breathes in. Murphy bites his bottom lip as he holds it in for a moment before slowly exhaling with a soft sigh. 

"Yup, thought it would be nice to have a conversation that wasn't over text message or in your classroom." Murphy shrugs as he stubs his cigarette out on the side of the curb. "I also wanted to invite you to my place, seven-thirty, tonight since there's no class tomorrow." Bellamy looks taken aback for a moment. "For a party." Murphy quickly jumps to add when he sees Bellamy's expression. "We're having some friends over, thought you might care to join us." 

"Murphy, my sister..." Bellamy is going to tell Murphy about what he found out from his sister when Murphy cuts him off. 

"Bring her, Raven's always complaining that there's not more girls for her to hang out with." Murphy interrupts enthusiastically. Bellamy isn't sure what to say. He doesn't want to admit that he went behind Murphy's back to get his background check, or that he knew that Murphy was in a mental rehabilitation center for two years. Murphy's smiling and looks so excited and Bellamy can't bear to bring him down.

"Yeah, I'll bring her. She'll have a good time." Bellamy manages to get out. Murphy's smile brightens. 

"Awesome, I'll text you the address. Are you heading inside?" Murphy steers the subject off the party. Bellamy nods, he wishes he can stand outside longer but he knows he has to set up for class.

"Yeah. I'm not trying to be an asshole, but it might look kind of weird if you come in with me." Bellamy says hesitantly. Murphy's smile dims a bit but he seems to understand. 

"That makes sense. I'll just have another cig. See you inside, Mr. Blake." the name rolls off Murphy's tongue like syrup. It sends shivers down Bellamy's spine and his tan, freckled cheeks flush dark red. He awkwardly turns and makes his way to the door. He steals a glance over his shoulder towards Murphy and sees his student watching him walk away with a smug smirk.

 

"Bellamy, could I speak to you?" Abby's voice breaks through the silence of Bellamy's empty classroom. His first class has ended, it was riddled with lusty glances from Murphy and little winks whenever Bellamy had passed his desk. It had been torture, but the good kind that Bellamy could enjoy. 

"Of course, Abby, come in." Bellamy says quickly as he stands up to welcome her into the room. Abby has a serious frown on her face as she approaches him. Bellamy is sure this is going to another one of those 'Clarke never meant to hurt you and I hope you're doing okay' conversations.

"I spoke to Clarke and she mentioned that you were seeing someone new." Her lips are pursed and Bellamy's stomach sinks.

"Abby, no offense, but I really don't think this is any of your business. I know I dated your daughter, but that's over. You're starting to cross a line." Bellamy finally decides to take a stand, he's tired of hearing about Clarke this, Clarke that. Abby scowls at him and Bellamy knows this is going to be bad.

"I think you're the one crossing a line, Bellamy. A student is one thing, but one of your own students? It's unbelievable! And John? He's nineteen, you should be absolutely ashamed of yourself." she's like a cat, hackles raised and every hair on end as she stares Bellamy down. Bellamy clenches his jaw up and glares her down. Of course Clarke had told her. Of course Clarke was back meddling in his life just like always. She couldn't leave him be, and Bellamy was finally at his rope's end.

"Enough! Clarke is out of my life, so you should be too. I thought there was something between Murphy and I, but there wasn't. It was never going to happen. From this moment forward I need you to stay out of my life, and the same goes for Clarke as well. I'm tired of walking into work and hearing you tell me 'I heard Clarke' because Abby, I don't care what she said, I don't care what you heard. I'm tired of you two gossiping about me and what's going on. We work together, you and I don't have a personal relationship anymore. Am I being completely one hundred percent perfectly clear?!" Bellamy's voice slowly rose to a shout until he's standing there with red cheeks and clenched fists and Abby is standing before him looking shocked and deflated. Her mouth opens and closes for a moment as she struggles to find words. 

"Yes, Bellamy. You are perfectly clear." she says coldly. She turns on her heel and storms out of the room. Bellamy sighs heavily and looks up at the ceiling. Clarke is going to make his life hell after she hears what happened. 

 

"A party?"

"Yup."

"At Murphy's?"

"Yeah." 

"I can't imagine a single thing that could go wrong." Octavia's word are dripping with sarcasm, her arms crossed over her chest and lips pursed. Bellamy groans and throws his hands up into the air. Octavia's leaned back into the couch with a frown as Bellamy stands over her, pleading. 

"Come on, O! He invited me, he's going to be crushed if I bail. You didn't see the look on his face when I said I'd go, he even invited you." Bellamy has been arguing this with his sister for the last ten minutes. Octavia lets out a frustrated moan as she props her elbows on her knees and rests her chin on her fists. 

"He's going to be pissed if he sees me. I don't think he remembers me, but he will when he sees me." Octavia brings up the same point she has been throughout this whole argument. Bellamy decides to finish it off with a guilt trip. It always works. He puts on his best 'pity me' eyes and gazes somberly down at her.

"Octavia, things have sucked since Clarke left. I know this is kind of a weird situation, but I really want to see where it goes, and I don't think I'll be able to go to this party alone. Please, come with me." he pleads solemnly. Octavia glowers at him for a solid thirty seconds before she forces herself to her feet. 

"God, fine! I hate when you pull that shit on me. Always gets me." she grumbles as she shoulders past him towards the bathroom. "I'm going to make myself presentable, I recommend doing the same. Don't wear the same outfit you were wearing this morning." she reminds him over her shoulder. Bellamy can't help but grin at her back. He's anxious, this has the potential to go terribly wrong, but whoever said that it was worth the risk must have been onto something.

 

"You're sure this is the place?" Octavia asks as they stand on the sidewalk and stare up at the rather rundown apartment building. The front porch roof is sagging in on itself, the stairs as well. The bottom apartment has busted windows and one of the porch lights has been shattered. Bellamy glances down at his phone to see the address before looking up at the building. 

"Yeah, I guess. He says it's 2C." he muses as he shoves his phone into his pocket and decides to take a gamble. He heads up the pathway with Octavia trailing behind him. He pushes the squeaky door open and looks around the foyer. It's dusty inside, some dead leaves on the floor, a couple cigarette butts, it's definitely not anything to write home about. Bellamy tries to smile hopefully at Octavia as he walks up the rickety staircase to the second floor. He spots 2C at the end of the hall and makes his way across the peeling faux tile floor and knocks on the door before he can even think about it. Octavia's tense, he can tell. He feels somewhat bad about dragging her to this, but he needs to have some fun, Octavia does too. It's been awhile since they went out and did something together. The door opens moments later and Bellamy is surprised at who opens it. It's not Murphy. It's a girl who looks about Octavia's age. She's short and slim, a wide smile on her face, but what takes Bellamy aback is the impressive face tattoo. It starts above her left eyebrow and curves onto the left side until it extends to her cheekbone and splits off into a curled tribal like design that then trails down to just above her jaw. Her hair looks a bit matted and part of it is elaborately braided and hangs next to her face. 

"You must be Murphy's friends!" she cheers happily. "I'm Emori." she introduces herself happily and Bellamy is even more floored. This was Murphy's ex girlfriend? She looks a little intense if Bellamy's being honest. Bellamy smiles slightly and nods. 

"Yeah, that's us." he says quietly. He hasn't really considered that Murphy's ex would be there. It has slipped his mind a bit that Murphy lives with his ex. "I'm Bellamy, this is my sister Octavia." Bellamy introduces them. Octavia gives a tight lipped smile and a little wave. Emori eagerly ushers them into the apartment. 

"Murphy's with Raven in the kitchen, he'll be out in a minute. In the meantime, some brief introductions. On the couch is Anya, Mbege, and Wick." She points to the trio seated on the lumpy looking couch. "Over there by the window, that's Atom, Bree, and Roma." Emori has an upbeat attitude. "Guys!" she hollers over the music playing from the TV. Everyone looks their way and Bellamy suddenly feels incredibly self conscious. "These are two of Murphy's friends, Bellamy and Octavia. Be nice to them, don't scare them off." Emori warns them in a threatening tone. Bellamy suddenly sees Murphy coming through a doorway from what he assumes is the kitchen. Following him is another female, tanner with a sleek ponytail and a red leather jacket. Murphy smiles when he sees Bellamy. 

"Hey, I thought I heard the door..." he trails off when he sees who's next to Bellamy. His smile instantly fades and Bellamy looks over at Octavia who's looking at him with a grim 'I told you so' expression. "This is your sister?" Murphy asks slowly and Emori looks nervously between Murphy and Bellamy. Bellamy slowly nods hesitantly.

"Yeah. Octavia, this is Murphy. Murphy, this is Octavia." Bellamy tries to act like he has no idea that they know each other, Octavia's shaking her head subtly beside him. Murphy's jaw is tightly clenched up and he looks a mixture of furious and almost nervous, but that wouldn't make sense, because Murphy doesn't get nervous. 

"I think I'm going to talk to Murphy real quick." Emori says softly as she darts across the room and grabs Murphy's arm, shaking him out of his daze. "Come on, Murph." she says softly, gently tugging him to a room with a closed door. Murphy casts a last glance over his shoulder before Emori shuts the door behind them. Octavia looks up at her brother with a frown. 

"Told you so."


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My first day of class was amazing and I love it so much but I'm so tired. I'm sorry it's so short, it's just been a very long day. Love you all.

"Told you so." Octavia echoes what Bellamy can already hear her saying in his head. He bites back the urge to snap at her, all eyes are on the two of them for what feels like an eternity before everyone resumes their conversations. Raven approaches them with a forced smile. 

"Sorry, he gets weird like that sometimes." Raven apologizes kindly. Octavia just frowns but Bellamy nods. 

"It's fine, I think I know why he might be weird." Bellamy trails off quietly. Raven looks quizzically at him but appears to brush the comment off. 

"Yeah, well, there's chips and stuff in the kitchen, drinks too. Murphy and Emori have plenty of blankets, so feel free to crash here if you wanna get wasted. As long as you don't destroy anything they're usually cool with whatever." Raven informs them. "Hell, I stayed here for almost a month when I lost my apartment after throwing my boyfriend out." she chuckles, shaking her head in a seemingly fond way. 

"I'll take a drink. Liquor, something hard." Octavia pipes up. Bellamy instantly looks at her with a frown but before he can comment she's already cutting in. "You dragged me to this thing, I'm allowed to drink." Her tone is warning, she's just daring Bellamy to say no. He caves and nods and Raven claps her hands excitedly. Before he can say another word the two girls are off to the kitchen like best friends. Octavia has always clicked with anyone willing to let her drink. He's left standing alone awkwardly in the middle of the living room.

"So how do you know Murphy and Emori? Never seen you over before." A man's voice suddenly breaks in from over by the couch. A man with dirty blond hair and scruffy facial hair. Muscular arms clothed by a dark blue, almost navy blue, long sleeve v-neck and scuffed up denim jeans. He's pretty sure it's Wick. He steps towards the couch and shoves his hands into his jeans pockets. 

"Through work. I teach at ACC." Bellamy is evasive, he's not sure how much Murphy has told his friends. Wick instantly grins. 

"Oh shit, you're the guy Murphy's been telling us about." he chuckles. He takes a sip of his beer before he continues. "Murphy's got a whole 'Hot for Teacher' thing goin' for you." Wick snickers. Bellamy feels his cheeks turn red and he clears his throat. Wick instantly holds his hand up to cut Bellamy off from whatever he's about to say. "Look, I'm not judging. Raven's twenty and I'm twenty-five. All of us know Murphy for a reason, reason being that we aren't the most amazing people on this planet. So none of us are gonna be assholes about you and Murphy." Wick is quick to reassure him and while Bellamy does feel a surge of relief at the words it doesn't fully soothe his nerves. He knows he could likely be fired for even texting Murphy, coming to his house? That would end his career. 

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure we've all done worse things than dating somebody with an age difference." Anya chimes in. There's general nods from around the room. Bellamy looks over his shoulder when he hears a door open and sees Murphy and Emori emerging from what he could only assume was a bedroom. Murphy instantly locks eyes with Bellamy. 

"Can I talk to you on the fire escape?" he asks, gesturing towards the backdoor adjacent to the window. Bellamy nods and lets Murphy sidle past him before he follows after. Murphy unlocks the deadbolt and the two step out onto the fire escape and into the cold air. The fire escape squeaks and rattles, it shakes a bit too as they stand there. Murphy leans against the flimsy railing as he pulls a pack of cigarettes and a lighter out of his pocket.

"I'm sorry about the whole freakout thing back there, I can explain." Murphy says calmly as he opens the pack and places the filter of a cig between his chapped lips. Bellamy's eyes are glued to the thin stick of tobacco that now dangles between those lips. Murphy shoves the pack back into his pocket.

"You don't have to explain, it's fine." Bellamy tries to stop him but Murphy just shakes his head. He pauses to flick the lighter open and bring the flame up to the tip of his cigarette. 

"I know your sister." he just comes out and says it suddenly. "I was in Ark Mental Rehabilitation for two years. Your sister was there too, I had some group therapy with her." Murphy is seemingly choking the words out. His free hand is agitated and tapping against his thigh. His other hand is obsessed with bringing the cigarette to and from his lips as he takes quick hasty puffs off it. His jaw is clenched up and while Bellamy knows that it's from nerves he can't help but think of how sharp Murphy's cheekbones and jawline look like this. 

"Why were you there?" Bellamy asks without even thinking. Murphy's eyes dart up from where they've been glued to the slats of the fire escape. He stares Bellamy down for a moment before he looks back down and clears his throat. He lets the silence consume them as he slowly takes a steady drag off his cigarette. He holds it in, lips pursed and brow furrowed before he slowly exhales. 

"I was sixteen, almost seventeen. I was going through a bit of a tough spot. CPS social workers were all over my mom and I, she started drinking even more to deal with it. Then one morning I go into the kitchen before school and I see my mom just laying there on the floor. She was lying on her back with vomit all over her mouth and a bottle of whiskey next to her. She had been drunk the night before, but nothing out of the ordinary, so I left her on her own and went to bed. When I went to wake her up she was cold and stiff, she didn't move. Found out later she got alcohol poisoning and when she passed out on the floor, she vomited. Because she was on her back she choked to death on her own vomit. Suffocated right there on the floor while I was asleep just over 50 feet away." Murphy doesn't sound upset, he doesn't sound like anything. He's completely flat and monotone. "Anyway, I didn't know what to do so I just sat there and stared at her body for I don't know how long. I just sort of blacked out and when I came back around it was dark out. I just felt numb, I knew social services was going to come back around and see what happened. So I called the cops and told them what happened. After that, I got up and I left. I had wanted to go after this guy for awhile, but now I had nothing left to lose, so I went and got the gasoline can we keep in the garage, took the car keys from my mom's purse and drove to the guy's house. Apparently he wasn't home, but I soaked the front porch with the gasoline, broke one of the windows and threw the gas can into the house. Then I just dropped the lighter on the porch and stood on the sidewalk and watched it all burn. Cops pulled up fifteen minutes later and arrested me on the spot." Murphy finishes his story and Bellamy sits there with a stunned expression. He can't help it. To hear it all in detail is a hundred times worse than what Octavia said to him. 

"Why him? What did he do to you?" Bellamy asks. Murphy just shakes his head. 

"Killed my dad." he puts it incredibly bluntly and Bellamy regrets asking. "Story for another day. I'll be chill around Octavia. Just caught me off guard." Murphy flicks his cigarette over the edge and motions towards the door. "Now let's go get fucking drunk."

 

 

And Bellamy has to admit, he gets pretty drunk. Not totally blackout, but pretty loose. He's leaned up against the wall and Murphy is leaning in close. They're talking about everything and nothing all at the same time. It's hard to keep track, Bellamy keeps getting sidetracked and the conversation veers into a whole new direction. Octavia has gone far over her two drink minimum and she begins to get into a bit of a spat with Anya, he's not even sure about what, but he can tell they're both just drunk and yelling. But their voices make it hard to hear what's going on and suddenly Murphy leans in incredibly close. Bellamy can feel the heat emanating off him. 

"Wanna go somewhere quieter to talk?" he murmurs. Bellamy's mouth dries and he can only nod mutely. Murphy reaches down and grips Bellamy's hand. He gently tugs Bellamy along to the room he had been in with Emori before. Octavia doesn't even notice him walking past her, but Emori looks up from where she's seated on the floor and sees the two. Bellamy catches her gaze and she subtly raises her glass to Bellamy and gives him a little smile. Bellamy smiles faintly as Murphy pulls him into the other room.

It's definitely Murphy's room. It's a bit of a mess, there's a pile of clothes in a laundry basket, a few articles of clothing strewn around the floor. Posters are hung up on the wall haphazardly with tape. Nothing Bellamy recognizes. There's a poster of a blond girl lying naked surrounded by rose petals that are positioned to cover her body parts. The words 'American Beauty' are emblazoned across the bottom. A few band posters are up as well, nothing Bellamy recognizes. It all seems very eclectic and random, just like Murphy. There's a small double bed in the middle of the room, the comforter is skewed and messy, but it's homey. 

"Home sweet home." Murphy slurs as he throws himself onto the bed with a pleased sigh. Bellamy stands there stiffly, unsure of what to do or where to sit. Murphy sits up after a moment of awkward silence and holds out both hands towards Bellamy. Bellamy smirks and drags his feet over to the bed. He lazily grabs onto Murphy's hands and before he has a chance to say a word Murphy is pulling him onto the bed. Bellamy groans and barely manages to move out of the way so he doesn't crush Murphy. He lands on his stomach, halfway on top of Murphy. He rolls over onto his back, Murphy is drunkenly laughing and Bellamy has to admit that he's laughing too. Murphy is nestled right next to him, Bellamy feels heated all over and it's not just from the alcohol. They lay in comfortable silence. After a moment he feels Murphy reaching over, Bellamy's own hand is resting on his chest and Murphy slowly trails his fingers over Bellamy's chest to lace his fingers between Bellamy's. Neither of them speak, it's a soft peaceful moment. When Bellamy looks over at Murphy, the younger boy's eyes are closed and Bellamy can see his lashes standing out against his pale skin, a drunken flush on his cheeks. 

"Emori's really okay with this?" Bellamy asks after another moment of heavy silence. He hears Murphy exhale heavily through his nose.

"She's fine with it, we're both adults. Just shut up." he grumbles. He suddenly turns on his side and wraps his arm around Bellamy's torso and buries his face in Bellamy's neck. Bellamy's entire body goes stiff and he can feel Murphy's lips twitch up into a smirk against his neck. "For a guy that's so hot you're kind of awkward." he teases.

"I am no-"

"I think it's cute so shut up." Murphy cuts him off. Bellamy relaxes a bit. After all, what is there to stress about? He's having a good time in a soft bed with a cute guy and he hasn't even thought about Clarke once. What's the worse that could happen?

 

 

Bellamy eyes fly open. His phone is ringing and it sounds like a hammer on his skull. He doesn't remember anything after he closed his eyes to lay with Murphy. Somehow they ended up at to head of the bed, and his phone is no longer in his pocket. Murphy is still nestled in his arms but he begins to stir at the loud sound. Bellamy throws his arm over his eyes and internally curses every god in the world when Murphy slowly sits up.

"Fuck, my fucking head!" Murphy groans. "Gonna fucking strangle whoever the fuck is calling at this goddamn hour." he grumbles. Bellamy sneaks a peek to the window and sees that the sun is just beginning to rise. Who the fuck is up this early? Murphy smacks his hand around the mattress before he finds the phone and swipes to answer. He sluggishly brings it up to his ear. "Do you know how goddamn early it is, this better be important." Murphy hisses in a furious whisper.

"Who is this? Where's Bellamy?" a female voice suddenly snaps. The volume is loud enough for Bellamy to hear and he instantly bolts upright.

"We just woke up, I'm sorry, who is thi-" Bellamy suddenly reaches over and snatches the phone from Murphy.

"Hey, Clarke!" the volume of his own voice makes him wince. "Why the early wake up call?" he tries to sound not so hungover.

"Who are you with?" Clarke asks accusingly. "Wouldn't be that jailbait nineteen year old student of yours, would it?" she asks scornfully. Bellamy takes a deep breath. Fucking Abby. "And you _yelled_ at my mom?!" she cries out angrily. Bellamy cringes. It feels like there's a spike in his skull and at every noise it feels like it's being wiggled around in his brain. 

"Like I told Abby, who I'm with is none of your business. You have no right to be butting into my life like this. _You_ left. Can you stay out of my life, please? I'm begging you." Bellamy pleads with her.

"Did you sleep with him?" she asks bluntly. Murphy's leaning in closely to listen and he gives Bellamy an incredulous eye roll.

"Not that it's any of your business, but no, we didn't. We were talking and fell asleep." Bellamy snaps. 

"Give me the phone." Murphy mouthes to Bellamy. Bellamy instantly scowls at him and shakes his head. Murphy then takes matters into his own hands and reaches out to snatch the phone from Bellamy's hand. 

"Clarke, right?" Murphy says into the phone as he taps to put it on speaker mode. "This is Murphy, the nineteen year old student. Jailbait, like you said earlier." All signs of Murphy's hangover have seemingly vanished as he makes sarcastic remarks to Bellamy's ex.

"I'm sorry, do you have something you need to say to me?" she asks rudely. 

"I do, actually." Murphy fires back just as rudely. Bellamy can't help the little smile that tugs at the corners of his lips. Everyone's usually too intimidated by Clarke to stand up to her. "Stop calling. You guys are broken up. Leave him alone and let him live his life." Murphy's tone is warning and firm. "I'm gonna hang up now, don't call back."

"Wait, I want to talk to Be-" Murphy hangs up on her with a simple click before he tosses the phone to the carpeted floor and drops back into bed. Bellamy sits there in shock for a moment until he hears his phone ringing again. 

"Fuck, that's her." he begins to make a move to get up and get his phone but Murphy wraps an arm around his waist and forcefully pulls him back down. 

"Just ignore it. What's the worst that could happen?" Murphy moans sleepily.

_I could lose my job_

_My career could end_

_Social stigma_

Bellamy has a whole list of things that could go wrong, but they all vanish from his mind when he looks down and sees Murphy pressed into his chest with his pale arms wrapped around Bellamy and for once a soft vulnerable expression on his youthful face. He caves and gives in, how can he say no to Murphy when he looks like this?

"Yeah, what's the worst that could happen?" he mumbles aloud.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Class has been pretty intense so I haven't been able to get anything out, wrote this after a 9 hour clinical so forgive any typos I'm exhausted ugh. But there's a little heavy petting in this chapter to make up for my absence so hopefully you guys will forgive me c;

Bellamy's dark eyes flicker open for the second time that morning. By now the sun is higher and casting a dim light into the room through the window. The dust motes are lit up into a swirling cascade of microscopic specks. Bellamy guesses that it's probably just past 9AM. He feels a weight on his chest and when he looks down he sees Murphy lying on his stomach on top of Bellamy. Somehow they ended up tangled up with each other when they fell back asleep and Murphy ended up on top of him. Murphy's still asleep, his chest is slowly rising and falling, his lips are parted and Bellamy has to really hold himself together to avoid kissing him. That's when he feels it pressed against his thigh. He's all too familiar with it. It's hot and heavy against him through his jeans, but Murphy is still in a dead sleep. Bellamy gives in to his desires and subtly begins to rub his thigh against Murphy's hard on. A soft moan slips past Murphy's lips as his soft eyes slowly flutter open. His pale eyes are glazed over with a sleepy haze as he smiles hazily up at Bellamy. His cheeks flush and he bites his lips when he realizes what Bellamy is doing.

"Shit, sorry, it's been awhile since I shared a bed with anyone." Murphy mumbles out with a soft sigh. His teeth dig into his bottom lip, leaving a mark deep in his pink lip as Bellamy smirks and presses up harder against the throbbing erection in Murphy's jeans.

"I think it's cute. Kinda hot." Bellamy says leisurely. He can feel a dull throbbing in his own jeans as he watches Murphy's eyes fill with lust. Murphy's hips buck of their own volition, grinding his cock harder against Bellamy's clothed thigh. Bellamy keeps the pressure up against Murphy's crotch and watches in a dazed awe as Murphy fists his hands in Bellamy's shirt and begins to slowly roll and grind his hips against Bellamy. Murphy's eyes flicker shut and he begins to let out soft little pants and moans as he rubs up against Bellamy. His pale cheeks are flushed bright red now and Murphy can't seem to control the weak moans that slip past his lips. Suddenly Murphy is scrambling and he's fully in Bellamy's lap. He straddles Bellamy and tangles his fingers in Bellamy's hair. He leans in and for a moment Bellamy thinks that Murphy is about to kiss him, Bellamy's eyes flutter shut with anticipation, but it never happens. Instead he feels Murphy's lips brushing up against his ear.

"I'm kind of disappointed you didn't make a move last night, but I suppose better late than never." he purrs in his ear. It's the same tone he uses on the phone with Bellamy and it's a sudden change of pace from the soft little moans he was letting out just moments earlier. It's the same voice that Bellamy has gotten off to before but now it's so real, there's no cellphone between them, Murphy is incredibly real, he's in his lap, his fingers are teasingly pulling at Bellamy's hair and just that voice alone makes Bellamy's cock stiffen in his pants. Murphy can tell and he smirks as he slowly rolls his hips over Bellamy. Bellamy gasps at the friction and pressure. He slides his hands under Murphy's shirt and along his back. Murphy's skin is hot to the touch, and smooth at first but Bellamy feels a bit of confusion when his fingers skim over a rough bit of skin, raised and bumpy. It almost feels like scar tissue. Murphy suddenly reaches back and grips Bellamy's wrist and forces his hand out from underneath his shirt. He's smirking at Bellamy but Bellamy can also see a hint of what almost looks nervousness. But it vanishes in an instant and that confidence is back.

"Keep your hands to yourself, I like to do all the work." Murphy teases. Bellamy smiles faintly as he lets his eyes trail down the pale expanse of Murphy's throat. This close he can see a few perfectly circular scars on the base of his throat and collar bone, they're pale and raised, they almost look like pock marks. He is quickly distracted, however, when Murphy's nimble fingers began to undo the button on his jeans and slowly drag the zipper down. He exhales softly as Murphy slides his body down between Bellamy's legs. He pushes Bellamy's shirt up and grins when he sees Bellamy's v-line and abs. He slides his hand into Bellamy's jeans as he plants soft kisses to Bellamy's stomach and hips. His hand slides all too lightly over the bulge in Bellamy's jeans. Bellamy presses his head back into the pillow and holds back a groan as he arches his hips up into his hand. Murphy has a shit eating grin on his face as he tenderly squeezes his hand around the bulge. Bellamy has never been insecure about his size, and it seems that Murphy isn't let down. He can already feel precome dripping from the tip and he watches in horny, dazed awe as Murphy slides his hand between his own legs and palms his own erection. Murphy's pink tongue darts out to run over his bottom lip and it makes Bellamy's cock twitch.

"You know, dirty talk isn't the only amazing thing I can do with my mouth." That rough, sexy croon makes Bellamy groan as Murphy begins to tug at his jeans. He desperately wants this, wants more than anything to feel Murphy's hot, dirty mouth on his cock. Murphy barely manages to get Bellamy's jeans down past his ass when out of nowhere the bedroom door flies open and Bellamy sees Octavia and Emori peering into the room. Out of instinct Bellamy instantly pushes Murphy away and begins to wriggle as he tries to pull his jeans up. He apparently pushes Murphy too hard as he sends the slimmer boy tumbling off the back of the bed and slamming into the floor. He hears a groan from the floor as he scrambles out of bed and properly zips and buttons his jeans. His cheeks are bright red and he can see Octavia hiding a grin behind her hand as Murphy pulls himself up off the floor. Emori's smirking as she leans up against the door frame as Octavia turns her back and attempts to muffle her snickering.

"We were just-"

"Making out?" Emori cuts him off with a chuckle. Murphy glowers at Bellamy as he straightens his shirt.

"Do you know how to knock, Em? For fuck's sake, we could've been naked." he scolds her as if she's a child.

"If I had waited five more minutes you two probably would have been naked." Emori teases. Murphy just stares her down and she sighs. "God, you suck the life and joy out of everything. I just came to tell you that your school called. You left your phone between the couch cushions so I picked it up. You're getting kicked out of your English class or something." she sighs heavily. Murphy and Bellamy's eyes both widen.

"Wait, what?! Who called?" Bellamy cried out. Emori furrowed her brow in thought.

"Ms. Griffith? Head of admissions or something." Bellamy instantly felt a surge of rage shoot through him. Abigail. Murphy's looking at him with a confused look.

"Griffin. Did she say why?" Bellamy grinds out.

"Something along the lines of 'personal conflict of interest'. Figured you two would want to know." Emori purses her lips and crosses her arms over her chest as she shoots a sympathetic look towards Murphy. Bellamy thinks back to the conversation this morning. Murphy slowly sits down at the foot of the bed and takes in a deep breath. Bellamy's already springing into action as he grabs his keys from the floor where they had fallen from his pocket last night when they stumbled into bed.

"Bell, where are you going?" Murphy asks.

"To figure this out. I'm sick of Abigail and Claire inserting themselves into my life." Bellamy snaps angrily. "Can one of you take Octavia home?" He exchanges glances between Emori and Murphy.

"Murphy can do it." Emori pipes up quickly, the smile spreading back across her face. "Give the two of them a chance to catch up." Murphy cringes at the thought, but gives a slow begrudging nod.

"I'll text you, I need to go sort this out." Bellamy slips past Emori and gives Octavia a quick kiss on the cheek as he breezes past her. "I won't be long, I'm going to figure this out." He calls out in a promise over his shoulder as he throws the door open and takes off down the stairs.

 

 

"Is Abby in her office?" Bellamy asks Harper breathlessly.

"Yeah, but she's on the phone and said not to bother he-" It's futile as Bellamy storms past the front reception desk and down the hall of offices. He throws open the door without knocking and lets himself in. Abby looks up with a scandalized expression, the office phone held up to her ear.

"Bellamy, I'm on the phone with a possible applicant, can you wait?" Bellamy ignores her as he reaches out and taps the receiver button and ends the call. Abby slams the phone down angrily. "What do you think you're doing?!" she cries out in a rage. Bellamy crosses his arms and stares her down.

"You're taking Murphy out of my class?" he asks coldly. He jumps straight to the point. Abby takes a deep breath and laces her fingers together.

"I got a call from Clarke this morning. Apparently when she called you, Murphy answered the phone. As you know, school policy states that no students and teachers may engage in romantic relationships as it is a conflict of interest. Apparently you spent the night with John, so I figured I should just go ahead and let him know that I'd be withdrawing him from the class effective immediately. It will not show up on his transcript." Abby speaks calmly and it's driving Bellamy up the wall.

"That policy is not based on he said she said. Murphy and my sister knew each other before we met. Was I interested in him, yes. But are we in a relationship, no. I stayed with my sister last night because she was nervous about seeing him." Bellamy hates himself for lying, and he tells himself it's so Murphy won't miss a credit, but he knows that he's lying for his own selfish desires. He wants to see Murphy in the front of his class, giving him those lusting looks and the forbidden, flirtatious touches when he passes out papers. Abby leans back in her chair and arches a brow incredulously at him.

"We can't risk you showing favoritism to a student in your class, Bellamy. He will just have to take second semester English with a different teacher. If you have no attachment to him, you shouldn't be concerned for him." Abby gives him a false smile as she cocks her head to the side. Bellamy is so frustrated he can only laugh and take a deep breath.

"He's my student, of course I'm concerned for him. I think you are bringing your personal feelings into this, so this is the last time I'm going to say this. Your daughter broke up with _me_. She left me for another woman. I did not in any way hurt your daughter, so I'm not sure why you have a vendetta against me." Bellamy's voice is frigid and Abby's smile fades and she turns deadly serious.

"You want to make this litigious? Fine then. John can stay in your class. _But_ , any sign of fraternizing you two and I will pull him from your class. No more personal conflicts brought into work. You have my word." Abby says coolly. Bellamy relaxes a bit, somewhat more satisfied with her answer.

"Good. Clarke needs to not interfere with my work life anymore. I know she's your daughter which makes things a bit weird with us at work, but all that needs to be left outside of work." Bellamy lays it all out on the table for Abby. He needs all of this personal drama to stop. This is his career, not a TV drama. Abby slowly nods.

"Sounds fair to me. Was there anything else you needed from me? I have an applicant I need to call back." She rests her elbows on the edge of her desk and smiles tensely at Bellamy. Bellamy shakes his head.

"No, that was all." he says calmly as he turns and leaves the office. The second the door latches shut behind him he's pulling his cellphone out and is texting Murphy.

**B: Problem with Abby solved.**

He barely gets out the back door to the faculty parking lot when his phone buzzes. It's Murphy.

_M: Dropped Octavia off. Come over to my place tonight. Em's staying with Anya. Don't bring Octavia ;)_

Bellamy's heart skips a beat and a huge grin spreads across his face.

**B: Sounds great, should I bring anything?**

He gets a response as he gets into his car.

_M: Just come over._

He can't even type a response before his phone buzzes three more times.

_M: Wait I lied_

_M: Bring some booze. Don't care what type._

_M: We can get drunk again, maybe this time you'll have the balls to make a move._

He grins and relaxes in his seat. He's already excited to resume where they were interrupted this morning.

**B: I think before Emori burst in you were saying that you could do amazing things with your mouth. I think you've got to put your money where your mouth is.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SMUT!!! BOY X BOY. Let me know what you guys think, I'm sorry I haven't been able to update as frequently as usual, these classes have been really kicking my ass!! :( But I love to hear from you guys, I love reviews and all that shit so let me know what you all think. New chapter coming soon :)

Bellamy stands nervously in front of the door for nearly a minute before he gets the courage to knock. He has a six pack of beer in his hand, his other hand shoved awkwardly in his pocket. The apartment door opens and Murphy's standing there with that sly grin. His brown hair is wet and hanging in his pale face, he has a gray sweater that looks a size too big hanging halfway down his hands like all of them do. He's in a pair of black sweatpants that cling just a little too well and Bellamy has to remind himself not to stare directly at the outline of Murphy's dick. Murphy's eyes dart down to the six pack in Bellamy's hand and he groans as he steps out of the doorway to let Bellamy in. Murphy carelessly swings the door shut behind them.

"A six pack, really? You think three beers a piece will get us drunk?" He scolds and Bellamy feels suddenly a bit embarrassed. He starts to stammer out an apology but Murphy cuts him off with a lazy wave of his hand.

"Chill out, Jasper hooked me up. I'll just smoke, you drink the beer." Murphy offers charitably as he drifts over to the coffee table and picks up a perfectly rolled blunt and a lighter. Bellamy arches a brow.

"Jasper? From my class. Don't tell me things like that." Bellamy groans as he stands awkwardly in the living room. Murphy rolls his eyes incredulously as he brings the blunt up to his lips and quickly lights. Seconds later the room reeks of pot as Murphy eagerly puffs at the blunt to get it started.

"Quit being so weird, start drinking. You need to be drunk by the time I'm done with this blunt, and I'm a fast smoker." he warns Bellamy. Bellamy relaxes at the joking and moves to set the six pack on the coffee table. Murphy throws himself lazily back onto the couch and takes a slow drag on the blunt. Bellamy watches in fascination as Murphy parts his lips and lets the thick smoke drift up into the air. Bellamy clears his throat awkwardly as he leans over to grab a beer. Murphy suddenly pats the couch cushion next to him.

"Sit. Drink. Relax. We'll just get a buzz going and watch some TV." Murphy reaches for the remote as Bellamy shuffles himself around the coffee table to sit on the beat up couch next to Murphy. Murphy clicks the TV on, sets Netflix up and grins excitedly. "Have you ever watched American Beauty?" he asks eagerly. Bellamy takes a sip of his beer before he answers.

"What, is it like American Psycho?" he asks curiously. Murphy laughs as he finds the movie. Bellamy recognizes the cover thumbnail, it's the same as the poster Murphy has in his room. Murphy hits play and suddenly turns himself sideways on the couch. He leans against the arm and throws his legs across Bellamy's lap.

"No, not at all. It's about this guy who starts going through a mid life crisis, he's married and has the life, but he gets obsessed with his teenage daughter's friend. There's a lot more to it, but it's basically a satire film on American upper middle class perceptions of beauty and self-satisfaction." Bellamy arches a brow and stares at Murphy.

"I didn't exactly pin you for the film buff." He muses. Murphy smirks before he looks back at the TV.

"Well there's a lot you don't know about me."

　

　

"What the fuck was that?" Bellamy asks in stunned silence as the credits begin to roll. He was mostly quiet through the movie, any time he started talk Murphy would aggressively shush him. Murphy had progressively gotten more slumped over as he slumped until he had finally ashed the blunt out forty-five minutes before the movie ended. Bellamy was on his last beer and had a pretty good buzz going himself.

"That was a good ass movie." Murphy snickers. He suddenly sits up and sloppily maneuvers himself to straddle Bellamy's lap. "Movies done, small talk taken care of, we're both buzzed so let's go get in bed." he croons. He has a huge grin on his face and his eyes are reddened, it's actually incredibly attractive to see his hugely dilated pupils and have him so loose and relaxed in his lap. Bellamy's throat goes dry and he nods dumbly. Murphy grins and clambers off of Bellamy's lap. He sways slightly as he begins to drag his feet to the bedroom door, motioning for Bellamy to follow him. Bellamy hastily takes the last swig of his beer before getting to his feet. He cringes at the taste, it's warm by now. He hesitantly follows Murphy into the bedroom. He knows if he does this that there is no going back. Murphy is his student. All of this, the texting, the hanging out, it was a gray area. Sex, that was the black area. The line that isn't supposed to be crossed. But he follows Murphy into the bedroom, gives in to his desires and makes the first steps to crossing the line.

Bellamy shuts the door quietly behind them, Murphy's room is dimly lit and his bed is looking incredibly inviting. Murphy is balancing on one leg as he pulls his socks off and tosses them haphazardly into a hamper. Bellamy isn't sure what to do, so he just stands there, waiting for direction. Murphy glances over his shoulder and smirks when he sees Bellamy.

"Relax, you're about to get laid, you should be excited." he chuckles. Murphy approaches him and suddenly throws his arms around Bellamy's neck. "I really do think it's pretty cute how awkward you actually are." he murmurs softly.

"I'm just pretty rusty. I was with Clarke for years, I think I lost my edge." he grimaces. Murphy just rolls his eyes at the mention of Bellamy's ex.

"Forget about her, have some fun. Now just chill out for a second so I can fucking kiss you." he croons and Bellamy is caught off guard. Before he can protest or even get a word out Murphy's lips are suddenly against his. Murphy's lips are softer than they look, welcoming and inviting. It's not as rough as Bellamy thought, Murphy's rough around the edges but there's a sharply contrasting softness with the way he's kissing Bellamy. It's soft and simple, Murphy breaks the kiss after a moment and glances up at Bellamy. There's no smirk, there's instead a sweet almost vulnerable look in his eyes. He's biting his bottom lip as he gazes at Bellamy. The two stand in silence for a moment before Bellamy gets his shit together and surges forward to press his lips back to Murphy's. This time Bellamy eagerly slips his tongue into Murphy's mouth and hears an approving groan from the younger man. Murphy tastes sweet like cherries and there's still a hint of pot lingering in his mouth. Bellamy knows he probably tastes like cheap beer but Murphy seems to love it as he clutches at Bellamy's shirt and begins to walk them back towards the bed. This time Murphy refuses to pull away. He turns them around so Bellamy's knees bump up against the bed. Murphy gives him a push and the heated kiss finally breaks as Bellamy drops to sit on the edge of the bed. Murphy doesn't say a word, he simply drops to his knees and the sight of that alone is enough to make every bit of blood rush from Bellamy's head to his cock. His lips are reddened and wet, his pupils are completely blown out and have swallowed almost every bit of blue. He agressively tugs Bellamy's belt off and throws it aside. It lands somewhere in the room with a thud but by then Murphy is unbuttoning Bellamy's jeans and vigorously tugging them down. Bellamy grins sloppily. He braces his hands on the bed and lifts his hips a bit to aid Murphy in his struggle. They're quickly torn off and thrown away with the belt. And just like that Bellamy is completely naked from the bottom down in front of Murphy. They've officially crossed the line. Murphy still has a serious expression on his face as he reaches out to grip Bellamy's length and slowly lets his hands caress over the hot flesh. Bellamy sighs softly at the touch and relaxes, letting his eyes flicker shut. He instantly regrets shutting his eyes as seconds later he feels Murphy's hot lips and tongue on him, and he wishes more than anything he could've seen that. His eyes fly open and while he regrets not watching at first, the view still is still fucking amazing. Murphy's gazing up at Bellamy with those doe eyes, the way his lips are stretched around Bellamy's cock is fucking obscene. His tongue is pressed firmly against the underside of Bellamy's length as Murphy slowly and teasingly bobs his head up and down, dragging that wicked tongue against the veins and rigid flesh.

"Fuck." Bellamy breathes out softly. Even Clarke and Bellamy were together, she had hated giving head, Bellamy is pretty sure in the four years total they were together he had gotten a blowjob maybe three times. And it was definitely never like this.

"That is really fucking good." Bellamy pants out as Murphy slowly circles the tip of Bellamy's cock with his tongue before he begins to painstakingly slowly take it deeper into his mouth. Bellamy clutches at the sheet with his hands, his knuckles going white and a string of profanitites slipping past his lips as Murphy keeps going. Bellamy knows he likely isn't the most well endowed man, he's nothing to scoff at. And Murphy wasn't lying when he said he was good with his mouth. Bellamy wants to come on the spot as he watches Murphy take nearly his entire length into his mouth, does he not have a fucking gag reflex? Murphy looks fucking pornographic, his eyes are watering a bit and after a moment he pulls away to gasp for air. His lips are slick with spit and his pink tongue darts over his bottom lip as he pants for air. Bellamy suddenly reaches out to tangle his fingers eagerly in Murphy's hair, tugging his head back to stare into Murphy's face.

"You're so fucking hot, you're fucking amazing." Belllamy groans, and Murphy flushes at the praise. Murphy moans when Bellamy tugs at his hair, and he's practically glowing from the praise. He whimpers softly as Bellamy cards his fingers through Murphy's hair, his nails scratching up against Murphy's scalp. Seconds later Murphy's mouth is back on him, this time more urgent and hurried. He whimpers and moans around Bellamy's cock and it feels goddamn heavenly. Murphy is taking in nearly Bellamy's entire length into his throat, clutching tightly to Bellamy's hips. Bellamy wants to come so badly, but he needs more. He grips onto Murphy's hair and tugs him away. Murphy takes in a big gulp of air and frowns up at Bellamy.

"Gonna cum too fast, do you have any lube?" Bellamy asks breathlessly. A look of understanding crosses Murphy's face and he nods.

"Nightstand drawer." He says hoarsely as he pulls himself up off his knees and begins to untie the drawstring on his sweatpants. Murphy leans over and suddenly turns the standing lamp off and the room goes dark. Bellamy has the bottle of lube in his hand when the room suddenly goes dark.

"You don't want the light on?" Bellamy asks curiously as his eyes begin to adjust. He sees Murphy's silhouette outlined in the darkness.

"Nah, don't like it." Murphy's answer comes out of the darkness in that same casual tone. Bellamy hears Murphy toss his sweatpants aside and hears Murphy's footsteps coming to him.

"Well, I can't really see anything, could you turn it back on? Just keep the lamp on the dimmest setting. It's just going to be difficult to do this in total darkness." He teases. There's silence for a moment before the lamp suddenly comes back on. It's dimmer than before but at least now Bellamy can see. Murphy is shimmying his boxers off, his sweatshirt is still on when he tosses his boxers aside and is suddenly in Bellamy's lap. Bellamy grins when he feels Murphy's cock rubbing against his stomach. He teasingly slides his hands under Murphy's shirt and begins to start to lift up his sweater. Murphy suddenly grips Bellamy's wrist and forcefully pushes Bellamy's hand down.

"Leave it." his tone is warning and clear, and it stuns Bellamy a bit. Bellamy slowly nods and lets go of Murphy's sweater. "Come on, hurry up and fuck me." Murphy groans, his tone and mood quickly changing back to lusting and longing. Bellamy smiles faintly as he pops open the cap on the lube.

"Just relax and give me a minute." he teases. Murphy holds himself up on Bellamy's lap as the older male squirts a generous amount of lube onto his fingers. He sets the bottle beside him on the bed and reaches behind Murphy. He slowly and tentatively slides his wet fingers over Murphy's hole. Murphy drops his head onto Bellamy's shoulder and lets out a soft sigh as his entire body relaxes. Bellamy gently presses the tip of his finger to Murphy's ass and slowly lets it slip into Murphy's tight hole. He is incredibly fucking tight. Murphy feels the pressure building as Bellamy carefully slips in to the second knuckle on his middle finger.

"Fuck, it's been awhile, go slow." Murphy groans softly. Bellamy nods and gentle circles his finger inside Murphy's hole. He slowly begins to slip his finger in and out, sliding just a bit deeper each time. At first Murphy is quiet, grimacing and cringing occasionally as Bellamy stretches him. By the time Bellamy carefully slips a second finger in he's moaning and panting, rolling his hips back on Bellamy's fingers. Bellamy holds still and lets Murphy push back on his hand before he crooks his fingers inside of Murphy and lets them graze over Murphy's prostate. Murphy suddenly cries out and clutches at Bellamy's shoulders, squeezing his eyes shut. Bellamy grins in satisfaction as he begins to slide and rub his fingers over the small bundle of nerves. Within seconds Murphy is a quivering, moaning mess in his lap, a broken stream of curses and pleas spilling past his lips as he desperately rolls his hips back against Bellamy's fingers. Bellamy finally decides to give in and slips his fingers from Murphy's stretched hole. Murphy moans sadly at the loss and sudden emptiness but Bellamy is quick to grab the lube and quickly rub it on his cock. He presses the tip of his cock to Murphy's hole, he hears Murphy moan softly. Bellamy's cock is bigger than his fingers and Murphy can already tell.

"Just relax, I'll go slow." Bellamy says softly. He grips the base of his cock and lets Murphy slowly press down onto his cock. The tip slips in and Murphy gasps as the sudden burning stretching sensation.

"Jesus fuck, how is your dick so fucking big?" Murphy sounds stunned, but pleased as he slowly presses down and lets Bellamy's cock slip further into his tight little hole. Bellamy is breathless at the hot tightness surrounding his cock. It was the best he had ever felt, he'd never been with anyone this tight.

"Fuck, Murphy, you're so fucking tight, it's fucking amazing. It's never been this fucking tight before." Bellamy groans, Murphy's cheeks flush as he bears down and takes it in as deep as possible, seated fully on Bellamy's cock. He can feel Bellamy's cock pulsing in his ass, grazing just teasingly up against his prostate. It's so fucking close, he feels so fucking full and stretched. It's fucking euphoric. He buries his face in Bellamy's neck to muffle his moans as he grinds his hips against Bellamy's and moans embarrasingly loudly when he feels Bellamy's cock rub directly against his prostate. Bellamy's grip is bruising on his hips, he adores it. Bellamy coaxingly begins to lift Murphy's hips after Murphy grinds and begins to adjust to the large cock in his hole. Murphy quickly gets the hint and slowly lifts his hips halfway up Bellamy's cock and slowly slides down. Murphy begins to build a slow and steady pace with the aid of Bellamy's guiding hands. His back is arched and he throws his head back as Bellamy begins to carefully thrust his hips up when Murphy slides down his cock. The slow pace is tortorous, Bellamy wants nothing more than to spill into Murphy's tight little hole, but he holds himself together and lets Murphy decide what's most comfortable for him. Murphy suddenly begins to move faster as the slow pace and easy brush against his prostate isn't enough for him. He begins to forcefully push himself further down onto Bellamy's cock, his own cock weeping precome as it rubs against Bellamy's stomach. Bellamy presses his lips to Murphy's and eagerly presses his tongue into Murphy's mouth. The two moan as they move together in unison. A thin sheen of sweat coats Bellamy's shoulders and chest, Murphy's hair is sticking to his forehead as he breaks the kiss and buries his face in Bellamy's neck. He eagerly sucks and bites at the tan flesh, Bellamy shudders and moans as he holds Murphy tightly and keeps him still as he thrusts up and fucks into Murphy's hole.

"Need to cum, need to cum, please, Bellamy, make me cum." Murphy pants and moans against Bellamy's now bruised throat. Bellamy lifts one hand from Murphy's hips and wraps it around Murphy's cock. He eagerly begins to slide his hand over Murphy's cock, Murphy's a mess in his lap, panting, moaning, begging for more. Bellamy can't last much longer himself and he's almost grateful when Murphy suddenly cums, hot liquid coating his hand and dripping between his fingers.

"Fuck, Murphy." Bellamy groans as his own orgasm hits him seconds later and he spills his hot release into Murphy's tight clenching hole. Murphy whimpers softly as he goes boneless in Bellamy's lap. The two sit there for a moment before Bellamy carefully nudges Murphy off his lap and rolls the younger boy onto his back on the bed. Bellamy stands on shaky legs and he hears Murphy groan behind him.

"There's an old shirt on the back of the chair, grab that to clean up." Murphy mumbles, he sounds just as drained as Bellamy feels. Bellamy is still struggling to catch his breath as he grabs the ratty white t-shirt off the back of the chair and uses it to wipe Murphy's sticky cum off his hand and stomach. He folds it over to the clean side and tosses it to Murphy. It lands on Murphy's stomach and he watches with a tired grin as Murphy lazily begins to wipe himself up.

"That was amazing." Bellamy states breathlessly. Murphy smiles tiredly as he finishes and throws the cum covered shirt into his hamper.

"Yeah, it was pretty good, I'm exhausted." Murphy laughs weakly as he drags himself up to the headboard and buries his face in the pillow. Bellamy nods and forces his legs to carry him back to the bed. He throws himself down beside Murphy and seconds later the boy is wrapping himself around Bellamy, snuggling up underneath Bellamy's arm and resting his head on his sweaty chest.

"Hey Murphy?" Bellamy asks quietly after a long moment of silence. He hears Murphy exhale quietly through his nose.

"What, Bellamy?" he asks sleepily. Bellamy swallows his nerves.

"You don't think things will be weird between us after this, will it?" he asks slowly. Did Murphy want more than a quick fuck? Did he want a relationship or was this a one time thing? Murphy sighs in exasperation.

"No, it'll be fine. It was just sex. Go to sleep, I'm exhausted." he complains, and Bellamy forces himself to slowly nod in agreement.

"Yeah, it'll be fine..." he said softly, but deep down he knew it wouldn't be. Murphy was more than just his student, he was clearly hiding things and secrets that he had no intention of letting Bellamy in on. He was beginning to wonder if he has made a mistake by sleeping with the teenager. Despite Murphy's reassurance he knew that this was just the beginning of something much bigger and more complicated than anything he had been involved with before.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! I thought of this idea while I was in the car the other day and I decided to run with it. As someone who struggles with mental illness myself, it's very near and dear to my heart. I am a little nervous about dropping this chapter and I would really love to hear from you guys and get your thoughts on it. I really became interested in Murphy's character as he is one of the characters that (while it's not really outrightly said on the show) shows signs of mental illness. I really identified with that so I wanted to sort of incorporate that into my story. I would also like to shoutout to MONOUHM and ATHENA2693 as they've both commented on I think every chapter of this work. Guys, if you're reading this, I see your comments and I love them soso much. I love hearing from you guys so I wanna dedicate this chapter to you two and thank you for your continued interest and feedback. You and all my readers are wonderful and I wanna thank you all for getting me to 2K reads. Enjoy the chapter!!

Bellamy falls asleep with Murphy in his arms. He ignores the nagging thoughts and worries that perhaps he made a mistake. He gives in to the comfort of falling asleep next to someone, to the syncing sounds of their breathing and the weight of Murphy against him. He falls asleep to the sweet hopes of what tomorrow would be, waking up to Murphy, seeing that rare genuine smile on his face. But the next morning was a rude awakening. He awakens to Murphy roughly shaking him awake. He blinks slowly in confusion as he reaches up to rub the sleep out of his blurry eyes. He sees Murphy standing next to the bed, fully dressed. He has a scowl on his face and Bellamy slowly sits up as he tries to figure out what exactly is going on. He sees his clothes at the foot of the bed. He leans over and grabs his boxers.

"Hey, Murph, what's going on?" he asks sleepily as he swings his legs over the side of the bed and begins to pull his boxers up his legs. Murphy is just standing there with an uncharacteristic scowl, an actual honest to god scowl.

"You need to go." Murphy says bluntly. He suddenly tosses Bellamy's phone to him. It smacks into Bellamy's bare chest and he taps the home button. He sees a missed call from Clarke and groans. He quickly gets up and sets the phone on the nightstand as he begins to hurriedly pull his clothes on.

"Is this because Clarke called? Look, her and I are done, I don't know why she called. I was hoping we could maybe grab some breakfast before our class starts. We still have over an hour before classes start, there's a little coffee spot just down the block from the school." Bellamy says hopefully, trying to smile and lift Murphy's spirits a bit. No dice. Murphy has the same scowl, not even the littlest twitch of a smile.

"You think I give a shit because your ex called you? You want to get breakfast together now too? God, you're so fucking naive." Murphy scoffs at him as Bellamy zips his jeans up and begins turning his shirt right side out. Bellamy stops for a moment and looks at Murphy with a confused look.

"What do you mean I'm naive?" he inquires accusingly. Murphy just shakes his head as he suddenly begins to walk towards the door.

"You think because we fucked once that this could be a relationship, that we're going to go out on dates and shit?" Murphy sounds so much more hateful than usual, no hint of teasing or joking. Bellamy is confused, and if he's being honest, a little hurt.

"We've been talking for awhile, and I had a lot of fun hanging out with you last night so I just thought-"

"You thought. That's your problem. Always overthinking everything, reading too much into everything. You knew from day one that I wanted to fuck you, so why are you surprised? We fucked, there's nothing new to it now." he snaps at Bellamy. "You think because we fucked that we have this special connection now? I've been with plenty of other guys, Bellamy, and you're nothing special." Murphy delivers the final verbal blow, cold, calculated and concise. Bellamy's shoulders sag as he stands there and watches Murphy open the door, holding it open and making his message clear. Bellamy needs to leave.

"Alright, I get it. This was just a hookup. Nothing more." Bellamy keeps his tone level and distant, doesn't let the hurt seep through into his words. It's like overnight Murphy changed and became a different person. Bellamy feels led on, like Murphy pretended to be sweet on him just to get laid. He grabs his jacket and his phone and walks towards the door. He stops for a moment in front of Murphy. "Are you coming to my class today?" he asks quietly. Murphy just rolls his eyes.

"No, I've got better things to do." he retorts sharply. Bellamy clenches his jaw tightly and nods.

"Alright then. I guess I'll see you when I see you." he brushes past Murphy without a single word. Murphy doesn't even walk him to the front door. Bellamy hears the bedroom door shut behind him and hears the lock click. He instantly opens his phone as he storms out the front door and down the stairs to the front door of the building.

 **B: He fucking kicked me out**.

He sends the text to Octavia as he wearily drags himself to his car. As soon as he steps out the front door of the building he's drenched. The sky looks as dreary, gray, and gloomy as he feels, it's pouring rain and for a moment he just stands there in the downpour and curses every god he can think of for his absolute shit luck. He snaps out of his trance and runs to his car parked on the street and quickly jumps into the driver side. The first thing he does is turn the car on and start blasting the heat. The second thing he does is wipe the water off his phone screen and go back to Octavia's chat.

**B: I guess I missed a call from Clarke last night, he had my phone when I woke up. IDK, maybe that set him off or something. He's skipping my class today too. I have to head to work. Need advice. Love you.**

He types it out and quickly hits send. He wants to storm back upstairs, drag Murphy out of his room and demand an explanation, but he doesn't do any of that. He just stares blankly at the drab apartment complex, to the light on the third floor that he knows is Murphy's bedroom. He just stares for a moment before he starts the car and pulls out into the street. He's beginning to understand why Abby was so intent on making sure that the two kept their distance now. His student was skipping class because of him, possibly withdrawing, he can't honestly be sure what Murphy is planning. And it's Bellamy's fault for giving in to him when he knew he shouldn't have crossed that line.

　

 

"Finish reading the last five pages of chapter four, work on your study guides. We'll be going over them next class to prepare for your first test at the end of next week." Bellamy says loudly as his students pack up their things and begin to file out the door for their class. Murphy never showed up. His seat remained blatantly empty in the front row, a constant reminder for his hour and a half class that he had completely fucked this entire thing up. As the students file out, Maya suddenly breaks away and comes up to Bellamy's desk. Maya only comes up to Bellamy's shoulder, she's very slim and pale with bobbed curly black hair and pink lips. She's clutching her book to her chest as she nervously approaches Bellamy. He looks up at her as he sits behind his desk.

"Maya, what can I do for you?" he asks curiously. Maya is always very quiet and subdued in class. Jasper is always teasing with her in the back of class, but she's barely said five full sentences to Bellamy since the class started. She's clearly nervous and hesitant.

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You seemed pretty down today, and Murphy's not here so we all figured something had happened." Maya speaks slowly and hesitantly, biting her bottom lip nervously. Bellamy tenses up subtly at the mention of Murphy's name. He forces himself to smile and simply shook his head.

"Everything's fine, Maya. I'm not sure why Murphy's not here but I'm sure he'll be back in class at some point this week. Thank you for asking, but I'm alright." he thanks her kindly, trying to ignore the nagging thoughts in his mind telling him that it was his fault Murphy wasn't in his class today. Maya nods understandingly and smiles nervously.

"Well I hope you feel better. I hope things work out with Murphy." she says sweetly. Bellamy forces a smile and nods.

"I'm sure they will. I'll see you, Maya." he says kindly. Maya nods and turns and disappears out the classroom door. Bellamy stares blankly at the papers on the desk. He needs to grade these quiz papers, he needs to print out the answer sheets for his study guides, he needs to respond to Jaha's emails about the new curriculum for next semester, but all he can think about is Murphy. He isn't sure how long he's been staring at the papers on his desk but he's forced out of his daze when he hears a gentle tapping on the door frame of his room. Bellamy glances up and sees Abby standing at the door. She's the last person he wants to see. She's smiling faintly at him as she leans against the doorframe. He doesn't even try to fake a smile. He just leans back in his chair and arches a brow. They haven't spoken since the outburst in Abby's office.

"Hey, Blake. I got your attendance record. Murphy wasn't in class today?" she asks quietly. Bellamy slowly nods.

"Yeah, he was absent today. I'm sure he'll be back by the next class." Bellamy shrugs casually. Abby arches a brow.

"Has he been acting strangely?" she asks curiously. Bellamy frowns at her.

"No, everything's been pretty normal. Why do you ask?" He asks bluntly. Abby looks around the hallway before she slowly steps into the room and shuts the classroom door behind her.

"Murphy's getting his school paid for by the state. He's on disability. His 'agent' told us he may act strange at times." Abby is being facetious, beating around the bush. Bellamy is caught off guard by this new information.

"Disability? What is he on disability for, he's perfectly healthy from what I've seen." He asks in pure confusion. Abby looks reluctant but he can tell that she's going to tell him, she can never keep her secrets. She approaches his desk and leans against the side of it. Bellamy straightens up in his chair and leans in, listening closely.

"It's for mental illness. They wouldn't say much when they came to do the paperwork for his payments, but he has episodes, it was supposed to be fixed when he was at AMR, but if he doesn't take his medication then he can apparently go into an 'episode'. They didn't tell me what an episode was, but if he's missing class that's something we have to call into the state agency." Abby explains quietly, a small frown on her soft pink lips. Bellamy's stomach drops. Episodes, was that what Murphy was having this morning? Had something set him off?

"What happens if we call in to the agency that he wasn't in class today?" he asks nervously. Abby shrugs her shoulders.

"They didn't really tell me that either. I'm guessing if he misses too many the state will stop paying, if he's having episodes of whatever is wrong with him, I'm guessing he'll go back to AMR until he can get back on his medications." Abby explains quietly. Bellamy feels sick. He doesn't want to be the reason Murphy gets sent back, not after what he's heard from Octavia about what happened to him in there. He's angry with Murphy, but now he's wondering if that was really Murphy saying those things this morning.

"Can we just... not report it this time?" he asks hopefully, shooting Abby a pleading glance. "He could just be not feeling well." he suggests. Abby thinks for a moment before she nods.

"Fine, but if he's not at the next class you have to call it in, no ifs, ands, or buts." she says sharply. Bellamy quickly nods.

"Of course. He'll be back, I promise he'll be here, he's my student, I'll make sure he comes." Bellamy promises, and it's not an empty promise either. Their next class session is day after tomorrow, that gives him just under a day and a half to figure out what the hell is going on with Murphy.

 

　

"Octavia, you exchanged numbers with Emori, didn't you?" Bellamy calls out the second he steps into the apartment. He sees his sister sprawled out on the couch with the TV remote next to her. She scrabbles for a moment to grab the remote and mute the TV.

"Yeah, why?" she asks quizzically. Bellamy drops his bag down beside the door and crosses the apartment to the couch and throws himself down beside his sister. She has to hastily sit up and move her legs out of the way to avoid being crushed by Bellamy.

"I need her number. I think something's wrong with Murphy." Bellamy sighs heavily. Octavia groans and rolls her eyes, but she clearly isn't going to say no. She pulls her phone out of her pocket and begins to scroll through her contacts.

"Is this about you taking a walk of shame this morning?" she inquires as she pulls up Emori's contact and hands her phone to Bellamy. Bellamy quickly opens his messaging app and begins to type Emori's number into the address bar at the top of the screen.

"Yeah, I think something happened. Abby came by my room today and said that he's on disability, and his 'case worker' or whatever said we had to report any absences or odd behaviors. Said that he has these 'episodes' if he gets off his meds. I'm going to ask Emori if she knows anything about it." Bellamy says in a rush as he begins to type out a message to Emori. Octavia looks at him with a worried expression.

"Bell, I know you like this guy and everything, but maybe you shouldn't press so much into this. I don't think he's crazy, but there's definitely something wrong there and I don't know if involving yourself is perhaps the best idea, this isn't exactly your area of expertise." her words are gentle and come off as a suggestion but he knows his sister and knows that her suggestions are not really suggestions and that she'll be the first one to berate him if he goes against her advice and it blows up in his face.

"I know it's not, but I think it was something _I_ did that set him off, and I can't let that slide. If I did say something to affect him then it's my responsibility to fix it." he stands firmly by his morals, Bellamy is never one to shy away from his mistakes. He quickly reads over the message to Emori before he sends it.

**B: Hey, it's Bellamy. I got your number from my sister. Murphy wasn't in class today, he was acting weird this morning too. Abby stopped by and told me that if he doesn't show up to the next class that I have to call his case worker. Txt back when you can.**

He taps sends and locks the phone.

"I'm not cooking tonight, my credit card's in the bag so just order us Chinese or pizza or something." Bellamy informs her as he shoves his phone into his back pocket. He isn't in the mood to fuss over dinner or worry about cleaning up the pots and pans. He gets up suddenly and brusquely makes his way to the kitchen. He's rifling through the fridge, he usually keeps his fruit shakes in the fridge, but since Octavia came back home he's pretty sure that she's been sneaking his drinks out of the fridge and drinking them while he's at work. As he's grabbing his second to last drink his phone suddenly starts to ring. He frowns as he straightens up and sets his drink down on the counter. He nudges the fridge door shut as he tugs his phone out of his back pocket. It's Emori's number that pops up across the screen. He glances towards the living room. Octavia has unmuted the TV, she clearly has no intentions of following him into the kitchen so he quickly answers the phone.

"Hey, Emori, it's Bell." he answers the phone. He instantly hears Emori's slightly accented tone burst through the phone.

"You can't call his case worker." Those are the first words out of her mouth. Bellamy wonders if perhaps he had once more made a mistake by opening his big mouth.

"I don't want to, I stayed over at your place and he was acting weird this morning. I convinced Abby not to make me call today, but if he doesn't come to the next class the day after tomorrow then I have to make the call. What's going on with him?" Bellamy asks bluntly. He hears Emori give an exasperated sigh.

"He's having a mixed affective episode, and we can't afford his lithium. He stopped taking it about two weeks ago, and he can't afford to have his prescription refilled because his state funded health insurance is absolute shit." Emori rants angrily and Bellamy feels his stomach tying up in knots.

"Mixed affective? How long is it going to last, will he be back to normal by day after tomorrow?" Bellamy asks hopefully. He can practically hear Emori roll her eyes. He knows that was a stupid question to ask.

"He's bipolar. He's having an episode, it could last a week, it could last a month. He's locked himself in his room since this morning, he won't say anything to me or even text me back." Emori huffs.

"Is there anything I can do?" Bellamy asks despondently, he knows it's hopeless. He doesn't know much about bipolar disorders, but he knows that there's likely no magical cure.

"Not unless you've got two hundred and fifty dollars lying around for his prescription." Emori chuckles tiredly. Bellamy hangs his head and they're both silent for a long while.

"Murphy was acting weird this morning. He went off on me." Bellamy suddenly bursts out. "He was upset when I woke up, I asked him to come get breakfast with me before class and he went off on me about how just because we slept together it doesn't mean that there's anything special between us. He basically told me what happened between us was just a hookup and that was all he wanted from me." Bellamy has word vomit, he feels awkward saying all this to Murphy's ex girlfriend, but he can't hold it in anymore. He hears Emori sigh quietly.

"I won't promise you that it was definitely because of his episode, but I can say that I think Murphy really does like you. He's not himself when he's like this. He's not Murphy, he's someone totally different. He bounces between lashing out, yelling and fighting, and just being completely depressed and won't speak to anyone or get out of bed. It honestly sounds like he was already in his episode when you two woke up, but I'm not going to promise that he was and get your hopes up that he'll come running back once this is over." she's stern in her words but he can hear the sympathy in her voice. He understands that she doesn't want to get his hopes up, but at the same time it does restore a flicker of hope inside at the idea that perhaps he still had a chance at figuring this out.

"I hope you understand that this sort of thing doesn't go away." Emori suddenly speaks up again before Bellamy has a chance to say a word. "This sort of thing happens, especially when he can't afford to pay for his lithium. It's not going to just disappear because he meets a guy and gets into a relationship and I'm hoping that's not what you have in mind." Emori says sharply. "He's not crazy, he's just sick. He has his good times and he has his sick days, just like with a physical illness. If you think that's not something you can deal with and if you aren't the type of guy to stick around when things get rough, just don't come back. That's all I'll say to you. I love him, he's my best friend, but he's high maintenance, and if that's not your type then just let it end now." Emori finishes her rant and Bellamy sits there for a long moment as he thinks over her words.

"I have to think about it." Bellamy doesn't know how to respond. He didn't know he was getting himself into something like this, he thought Murphy was just a guy with some quirks.

"Well, you heard me. Don't come back if you don't plan on sticking around." and just like that Emori hangs up the phone and it all goes silent. Bellamy slowly slips his phone back into his pocket. Emori's words are echoing in his mind as he leans up against the counter. He slowly opens his drink and takes a sip. He isn't sure if he's ready to take on something like this so soon after Clarke. Someone like Murphy would likely get attached, need a lot more support than Clarke did, more care. It almost sounds more like a caretaker job than a relationship. Being in a relationship with Clarke had been easy. It was simple, it was easy, but that had also been their downfall. It had been easy to slip into a routine, easy to get comfortable and get lazy. That's when Bellamy makes his decision.

 

　

Emori opens the door of the apartment and looks at Bellamy in confusion. He's standing there with his bag over his shoulder and his hands shoved in his pockets.

"Heeey..." Emori says slowly as she steps aside to let Bellamy into the apartment. "What's up with the late night visit?" she asks. By now it's nearly eight PM, it had taken Bellamy awhile to get up the courage to come by unannounced.

"I thought about what you said about Murphy not being simple, and this not being easy, and I'll be honest, it kind of scared the shit out of me." he puts it honestly. Emori instantly crosses her arm over her chest and stares him down with a scowl. "I'm not finished." he says quickly. Emori just sits there and waits for him to continue.

"But Murphy doesn't seem to have anyone really there for him except for you. When Octavia and I lost my mom, I at least had people there to back me up, and I was there for O when she had her issues. So, even if Murphy and I don't become anything and he really isn't interested I can at least try to help." Bellamy looks at Emori for approval. She stares at him for a long moment before she sighs and drops her arms down to her sides.

"You can try. He unlocked his door a couple of hours ago but he still won't say anything to me." Emori looks disappointed and worn down at this point. Bellamy's been there before.

"Well, I brought a movie I think he might like, and I brought my laptop. So even if he doesn't want to talk maybe I can at least distract him." Bellamy knows it's a long shot but it's all he can think of.

"It's worth a try. I'm not sure what I can do to help him. Maybe having you around will help him." she shrugs her shoulders. "I'm going to my room, just come get me if you end up leaving." Bellamy nods and the two part ways. He hesitates a moment as he stands in front of Murphy's door and slowly taps on his door. There's no response. He hesitantly opens the door and peers into Murphy's room. It's completely dark, Bellamy can't even see the bed. He pulls his cellphone out and uses the screen as a flashlight to find his way to the standing lamp. He turns it on the dimmest setting and glances over at the bed. He sees Murphy. The younger boy is lying with his back to Bellamy, he doesn't even move when the light comes on.

"Hey, Murphy." he says quietly. "I thought I'd come over and just hang out for a little while. We had a lot of fun watching that movie last night, so I brought over one of my favorites." he speaks quietly and calmly. Murphy stays silent. Bellamy sets his bag at the foot of the bed and takes his laptop out. "We don't have to talk or anything like that." he promises.

"You're talking right now, dipshit." Murphy suddenly speaks up, but it's quiet and completely monotone. Bellamy smiles faintly.

"Is it ok if I sit on the bed? I brought Full Metal Jacket." He says hopefully. Silence fills once more and after a moment Murphy scoots over on the bed to make room for Bellamy. Bellamy moves to lean up against the headboard after kicking off his shoes. Murphy doesn't turn to face him, but Bellamy boots his laptop up anyway and begins to set up the movie. The two don't speak as Bellamy hits play and the movie begins.

"You know this was one of the first Stanley Kubrick movies I watched? I can't believe I had never seen one of his movies before I watched this. He's an amazing director." Bellamy talks aimlessly, he hopes something will bring Murphy out of his silent stupor and garner a response. "Animal Mother was always my favorite when I first saw this, but now I think it's Joker. It's kind of a tossup." he continues to ramble on as the credits finish rolling and the movie starts. Murphy suddenly shifts and rolls over to face Bellamy. Bellamy glances down at him. Murphy somehow looks exhausted, even though Bellamy just saw him this morning. He looks completely and totally drained, emotionally and physically.

"Animal Mother could kick Joker's ass." he says blankly. He adjust himself a bit to lean against Bellamy as he watches the movie screen. There doesn't seem to be much of a change in his expression or his tone, but at least he's not sitting there staring at the wall anymore. Bellamy smirks at his answer and after a moment he slowly reaches out to drape his arm over Murphy's shoulder. Murphy doesn't tell him to go fuck himself, and he doesn't push Bellamy's arm away, so he figures that's a good start. He absentmindedly strokes his fingers over the soft material of the black hoodie that Murphy's in. It's too big for him, just like the rest of his clothes, it makes him look smaller than he really is. Bellamy's more intently watching Murphy than he is watching the movie, but he's hoping for any sign of a smile. There isn't, but at least Murphy's comfortable with him being here. Bellamy looks back at the screen and smiles slightly. At least here with Murphy he can feel like he's making some kind of a difference.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to address a comment left by RASHAKA. So far Clarke has been referenced as a lesbian in the story, and yes she is bisexual. The story is told from Bellamy's POV and how he views things as they're presented to him. Her sexuality is actually addressed in this chapter, and I apologize for any confusion. After Rashaka pointed it out I realized others may have been confused, and I definitely didn't mean to come off as erasing Clarke's bisexuality. Shoutout to everyone that left comments on the last chapter, and shoutout to RASHAKA for all the kind comments you left and for your interest in my story. I wanna dedicate this chapter to you, and of course thank MONOUHM and ATHENA2693 for their continued interest in my story!!! Sorry this chapter's a bit slow and doesn't super focus on Murphamy, but we do get to hear from Emori and Clarke!! Love you all and thank you for reading!!

He wakes up the next morning still sitting upright against the headboard with the laptop in his lap. Murphy is pressed up against him, breathing slowly and deeply. Bellamy sits there for a moment and watches the steady rise and fall of his chest. His hair is hanging down in his eyes. He still looks tired, Bellamy can see the dark circles that rim his eyes. Throughout the entirety of the movie Murphy hadn't said a single word after their last exchange. He didn't laugh, barely even blinked. But he had stayed nestled against Bellamy's side until he fell asleep, and Bellamy fell asleep shortly after. Bellamy can hear the rain pattering against the siding of the apartment and the dull crackle of thunder. The lamp was left on overnight and it fills the bedroom with a soft orange glow. Bellamy's still wearing his clothes from last night, they're wrinkled and smell a bit like sweat. He cringes, he needs a shower and a change of clothes. He doesn't want to leave Murphy's side, but he desperately needs something to change into. Bellamy quietly shuts his laptop and sets it at the foot of the bed. He definitely doesn't want Murphy to wake up, he's hoping Murphy will sleep until he gets back. Bellamy wishes he could do something to help him. Even when Octavia got depressed she had never been like this. She had cried herself to sleep, she had broken down, but she had never just laid there and not spoken. She had never been so completely despondent and just not there. When Bellamy had been with Murphy last night it was like he wasn't himself, he was just an empty shell; hollow and empty on the inside.

Bellamy manages to slip out of bed without waking the younger boy. He leans over and very gently lifts the covers over Murphy and tucks the blankets around him. He moves as silently as possible as he slips his socks and shoes on over his feet. He treads lightly as he slips out the room and shuts the door quietly behind him. As he's pulling his phone out of his pocket he feels his wallet. He suddenly remembers what Emori said about the prescription. He knows he's strapped for cash himself, but he thinks about last night with Murphy, and the previous morning. Murphy was acting completely different. If he doesn't get his prescription back on track Bellamy knows he will likely keep slipping back into this state and will end up back at AMR. He stands there in the living room for a long moment before he pulls his wallet out. He rifles it open and pulls out the cash that he's been stashing in his wallet for the last few months. It's not much, he counts it out and it's only ninety seven dollars in fives, tens, and a few twenties. He knows he can't pick up Murphy's prescription, but maybe Emori can. The apartment is silent, he doubts that she's even awake yet. Glancing at the clock on the living room wall he can see that it's just now six AM. He carefully folds up the wad of cash and goes to Emori's door. He bends over and carefully slides it underneath her door. He doubts that Murphy would react very well if he knew Bellamy was trying to help pay for his medication. As he turns around to leave the apartment he types out a message to Emori explaining what the money was for and that he would be back after he got a change of clothes from his apartment. He quickly runs down the stairs to his car. He darts through the rain, he's eager to get back to Murphy's apartment before he wakes up. He said he would be there for Murphy, and he meant that.

 

　

He unlocks his apartment door and steps over the threshold. He's soaking wet to the bone and freezing. He hears Octavia's voice and furrows his brow as he pulls off his drenched jacket. She's never awake this early unless he physically drags her out of her bed. He slowly treads on squeaking shoes into the living room. It's Clarke. She's sitting there on his couch with Octavia. She probably worked an overnight shift. Her makeup has smudged a bit and she's still wearing her scrubs. He recognizes the set. It's a pair he bought for her after about eight months of dating. They're a soft baby blue color with Clarke's name embroidered on the left side. Bellamy had never realized how expensive scrubs were until he started dating a nurse. The set had been sixty dollars a piece, an extra twenty to get the shirt embroidered. He remembers, he got them for her after listening to her complain about how stiff and scratchy her scrubs were. Her blond hair is pulled back into a ponytail and a few curls have fallen loose and frame her pale face. She looks up when Bellamy walks in from the hallway and instantly her smile fades.

"Bell, O said you weren't going to be home until later this morning, I'm sorry." she blurts out nervously. Octavia's back is to him but she quickly turns around with a nervous expression.

"Shit, I invited her over, Bell. I haven't seen her since I got back and I thought you wouldn't be home until late like yesterday. I just wanted to catch up a little." Octavia explains quickly. Bellamy isn't enthused that she's here, but at the same time he knows that Clarke became quick friends with his little sister after they started dating and that Octavia doesn't have many friends. He forces himself to smile.

"It's fine, really. I just came to grab a change of clothes. I'll only be a few minutes." he says calmly. He hasn't seen Clarke since she packed her things and left their apartment. It's a lot less painful to see her than he thought it would be. It feels like a faint twinging in his chest instead of a knife in his back. "You look nice, Clarke." he says kindly. They're both adults, they aren't in high school. There's no need to be malicious and petty. Clarke relaxes a bit and smiles weakly.

"Thanks, Bell." she says softly. Bellamy nods politely and makes his way past the two girls on the couch to his bedroom. He opens the door to his room and begins to rifle through his drawers to find a change of clothes. As he's pulling out a shirt he hears a faint tapping at his door.

"You can come in, O." he calls out. He has automatically assumed it's his sister, but when his bedroom door opens and he glances up he sees Clarke standing in the doorway. "Oh. Hey, sorry, I thought you were Octavia." Clarke nods at his words. She lets himself into his room, what was once _their_ room. She slowly shuts the door behind her and Bellamy arches a brow. She takes a deep breath and looks nervously at her feet. Bellamy has sudden flashbacks to when she left him, she was acting the exact same way. She had something to tell him. He sits down on the side of the bed and looks expectantly at Clarke.

"I think I owe you an apology. The way I handled all of this, it was wrong of me." Clarke forces herself to look up and gaze directly at Bellamy as she apologizes. "I should have been up front from the beginning when I started questioning myself, but I didn't because I thought those doubts would go away. I'm sorry for the way things ended. I really do care about you, Bell, I always did." She's being honest, Bellamy can tell. He's been with Clarke long enough to tell the difference between a forced and sincere apology. Bellamy takes in what she says for a moment.

"Well, thank you for being honest with me, Clarke. I have to admit, it caught me off guard, but if you're gay, you're gay. I can't change that." He personally knows the confusion of questioning your own sexuality. He's still angry with Clarke, hurt that she left him so suddenly, but he understands. Clarke bites her bottom lip nervously and moves to sit next to Bellamy on the bed. She looks down at her hands that she's folded in her lap. "What is it?" he presses further.

"I don't think that I'm totally gay, you know?" Clarke mumbles. Bellamy stays quiet and waits for her continue. "I don't think I wanted to be with Lexa just because she's a woman. I was always attracted to you, Bell, and the sex was good. I think with us, we were friends, and we just slapped a label on us and slept together sometimes. We just never clicked emotionally." Clarke is trying to put it gently, and Bellamy understands. Their relationship was just a long term friends with benefits that they tried to make into something more than what it truly was.

"Lexa just gets me. She challenges me too, it's never easy, and I'm always being challenged to be a better person." she speaks nervously, and while Bellamy isn't too keen on hearing about her relationship with Lexa, he knows she likely doesn't have many people to talk to.

"So, you're bi?" Bellamy asks after a brief stint of silence. Clarke nods.

"I think so. It's all a bit confusing. I'm just sorry I let things end the way they did. I owed you a lot more than that." Bellamy sighs and looks over at Clarke. It actually feels good to hear her apologize, to get some closure.

"Thanks, Clarke. It means a lot for you to say that." he gives her a smile and Clarke relaxes, clearly relieved that Bellamy has accepted her apology.

"I have to be getting home, but thanks for talking, Bell. Good luck with everything. I'm sure I'll see you around." she says optimistically as she stands up. She places a gentle hand on Bellamy's shoulder and gives him a comforting squeeze, flashing him one last smile before she leaves him alone in his room. Bellamy feels like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders, feels a comforting warmth in his gut now that he's heard what Clarke had to say to him. He sits there for a long moment before he begins to change, throwing his dirty laundry in the hamper. He heads back to the living room and sees his sister sitting on the couch, looking at him expectantly. Bellamy rolls his eyes at her.

"We can gossip about what Clarke said later, I have to go." Bellamy jumps in before she can even ask. She smiles and shakes her head in amusement.

"It's not about that, Bell. I was actually hoping I could talk to you about something." she says hopefully.

"Can it wait? I have to get back to Murphy's." Bellamy chirps briskly. Octavia thinks for a moment before she nods.

"Yeah, that's fine. Lincoln's coming back from that army thing soon, so I think I'm going to go to his apartment and clean up to get it ready for him." she sighs heavily as she moves to lay back on the couch.

"While you're at it maybe you could put out some job applications." Bellamy hints teasingly. Octavia flips him the bird as he grabs his keys and heads for the door. "I'll be home in awhile, love you." he says over his shoulder as he unlocks the front door.

"Yeah, yeah, love you too." she hollers after him as he slips out the front door to return to Murphy's.

 

　

The front door of Murphy's apartment is unlocked when he gets to the door. Bellamy carefully opens it and sees Emori taking her jacket off. She glances up with a smile when she sees Bellamy coming in through the door.

"Hey, I got your text. I pooled our cash together and went to the pharmacy at the end of the block to pick up his prescription." Emori says brightly. Bellamy sighs in relief as he shuts the door behind him.

"Is Murphy still asleep?"

"Yeah, it's better to just let him sleep when he gets like this. I'll give him the pills when he wakes up." Emori tosses her jacket over the back of the couch and Bellamy spots the white pharmacy bag on the coffee table.

"Do you want me to go? I can come back when he wakes up." Bellamy offers uncertainly. He hasn't really spoken to Emori very much, he isn't sure if she'll be comfortable with him hanging around. Emori shakes her head.

"I was actually going to make some eggs, you can stick around for some if you want." she offers kindly. Bellamy is actually pretty hungry, it might not hurt to get to know Emori a little better either. He nods and follows Emori to the kitchen where she begins to get everything out.

"Could you crack six eggs in the bowl and scramble them for me?" she asks. Bellamy nods and takes the carton of eggs from her and gets to work.

"So, can I ask you a question?" Bellamy inquires. Emori smiles as she sets the pan on the stove and drops a pat of butter in the pan.

"Go ahead, I already know what you're going to ask about." Emori laughs as she lets the butter melt while the pan heats up.

"What's up with the face tattoo? It's pretty intense for someone your age." Bellamy hopes he's not offending her by asking, but she doesn't seem bothered by it at all. He carefully begins to crack the eggs into the bowl, taking care to keep the shells out.

"I know it might be a little much to some people, but it's a tradition with my people." she explains. Bellamy looks at her curiously.

"Your people?"

Emori smirks at his confusion.

"My parents are both from a nomad tribe. But as I was born with a deformity," she gestures to her deformed hand as she speaks. "I was deemed to be a Frikdreina. It essentially means I was a stain on the bloodline. We are very traditional, try to keep relationships within the tribe to keep us from becoming too mixed and our culture disappearing. It's a bit of an outdated custom, but when we are deemed old enough we get tattoos to symbolize our tribal affiliation and to signify our inner warrior. But what they fail to tell you is that in the real world outside of the tribe, it's quite difficult to find a job when you have a huge face tattoo." Emori chuckles. Bellamy frowns as he beat the eggs in the bowl. He had never pegged Emori for that type of person.

"Tribe? That's all pretty intense stuff. How'd you end up here if you grew up with a tribe?" he asks curiously.

"Well, it's not like I grew up on a reservation or anything. When I say tribe, it's not like Native American tribes. Most of our people are very isolated, try to stay off the grid, live off the land. All that 'in touch with nature' shit. I was super into it, all about my heritage. So when I became 'of age' I got the tattoo. But then I got older and got sick of the people who were supposed to be my family and my tribe alienating me for something that I had no control over, that I was born with. So I went 'nomad' and left. Became a pickpocket, stole shit for some people, bounced around all over the place until I met Murphy." she sighs. He hands her the bowl with the eggs and watches as she dumps the eggs in the pan.

"So, you were a thief when you met Murphy?"

"Yeah, it's how we met actually. It's kind of messed up, but I was stealing from him. I felt really bad about it, but he ended up finding me again and he helped me out instead of pressing charges. Now I work in an Amazon warehouse and have an apartment. Life's just crazy like that, I guess." She chuckles. Bellamy can understand why she works in a warehouse. The tattoo on her face is blatantly obvious. A girl like her would never be allowed to teach, or work in customer service. He feels a little bad if he's being honest. It must suck to have so few choices for a career.

"How long did it take to get that thing? Did it hurt?" Bellamy is actually enjoying getting to hear more about Emori. She's definitely a wild card, he can understand why Murphy would have wanted to be with her. She's not Bellamy's type, but she's slim and attractive, her facial tattoo just adds to her air of mystery. She's had a wild life just from the bits and pieces Bellamy has heard. She's likely seen and done more than Bellamy ever has, and likely ever will.

"Well, we do tattoos differently too. We don't use the tattoo gun, and it's not anything that's drawn in advance. I got mine when I was about seventeen. I had no idea what they were going to put on me, and neither did the person doing it. Apparently the design that's chosen is felt through the spirit and guides the artist's hands. Sounds like bullshit, but whatever. They use a sharpened tool, it used to be bone, but the guy who did mine had a porcelain tool. They carve out the design with the tattoo and use ink to color in over it." Bellamy flinches at her description.

"So like a stick and poke?" Emori grins and nods as she grabs a plate and scoops the fluffy eggs onto the plate.

"Sort of. And it hurt at first, but after the first forty five minutes everything sort of went numb and I zoned out." Emori grabs a plate for Bellamy and begins to portion out some eggs.

"Hey..." Bellamy hears Murphy's voice from the doorway to the kitchen. Bellamy instantly turns around. Murphy's gotten changed into a pair of jeans and an oversized long sleeve t-shirt. He still looks out of it and exhausted, but at least he's out of bed.

"Hey, Murphy! I made breakfast. I also went and picked up your prescription." Emori avoids mentioning how it was paid for, and Bellamy believes that might be for the best. Murphy just lamely shrugs his shoulders and dully takes the plate Emori hands to him.

"Sleep well?" Bellamy asks, trying to get Murphy to respond. He doesn't. He barely even blinks as he leans up against the counter and dully pushes his eggs around. Emori doesn't seem perturbed by it. She just seems used to it as she takes a bite before setting her plate down. She leaves the kitchen and returns moments later with the white bag.

"You have to take it with food, so just take it after you finish eating." Emori instructs him.

"I'm really not hungry, Em." Murphy says in monotone. Emori sighs and just sets the bottle next to Murphy on the counter.

"I'm gonna go eat in my room, just please take the pill." Emori pleads quietly. She leans over to kiss Murphy's cheek before she takes her plate and leaves the room. Bellamy is left alone with Murphy and the silence.

"You paid for it, didn't you?" Murphy says after a moment of silence. Bellamy doesn't know how to answer. He doesn't want to lie, but he doesn't Murphy to feel as if he's a burden. Apparently his silence is answer.

"I'm going to pay you back for it. I'm not a charity case, and I don't want to owe you or anyone else anything. And don't pay for it again. I don't need your fucking pity." Murphy goes for completely monotone to furious in a split second. Just seconds ago he was standing there looking completely hopeless. Now he was glaring hatefully at Bellamy with a furious expression like Bellamy had never seen before. His tone was angry and hurtful. He snatches the bottle off the counter and swiftly opens it. He takes the pill withouth even needing a cup of water. He still hasn't touched his eggs. Just like that his outburst is over and he looks empty again, sagging against the counter.

"I wasn't trying to pity y-"

"I think you should go." Murphy cuts in. He won't even look at Bellamy.

"Murphy, come on. I want to stay with you." Bellamy coaxes, hoping to get Murphy to give in. Murphy just sets his plate down and begins to walk towards the door.

"I don't want you to stay." Murphy has no emotion and doesn't even look over his shoulder as he leaves. Bellamy sets his plate down and quickly follows after. He grabs Murphy's arm and forces Murphy to face him.

"I'll leave, but _please_ come back to class tomorrow. If you miss this class they'll force me to call your case worker. You can't miss this class." Bellamy says firmly. Murphy stares him down for a moment before tugging his arm out of Bellamy's grip.

"Just leave." he says bluntly. Bellamy knows it's best not to keep pushing. He doesn't want another outburst like there was in the kitchen.

"Alright. I'll message you." Bellamy says simply. He turns and leaves the apartment, giving in to Bellamy's wishes. He walks back to the car in the chilly air and just hopes that Octavia's home and still wants to talk. All he can do is hope that Murphy will come to class. He feels as though he's only just begun to scratch the surface with Murphy, he doesn't want the opportunity to further his relationship and explore the future possibility of a relationship with Murphy to be taken away from him before it even begins.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to any of my long time readers who are still here. It's been a rough time but I'm pulling through. I would love to hear your thoughts and comments! I've missed writing and will try to resume frequent updates.

His seat is empty. Bellamy's eyes are glued to Murphy's seat in the front of the class. He didn't hear from him at all after he left the apartment. Octavia hadn't been home when he arrived, so Bellamy had spent his evening sprawled out on the couch with a case of beer and the silence of the apartment. He thought to himself last night he should just get a dog. A dog would be simpler. Feed it, walk it, play with it, none of these emotional somersaults or hoops to leap through. 

The class has only thirty minutes left. Bellamy has taken care not to send his attendance in yet. He's hoping to God that Murphy will make any kind of appearance. He can't mark him present if he's not there, he could get in trouble and cause a whole new other set of problems for Murphy. He isn't sure how these things work but he's guessing it won't go over too well if Murphy's case worker finds out they slept together. Abby has sent him three emails already about emailing in his attendance sheet. He hasn't even opened them yet. He took the easy way out and assigned a stack of worksheets for them to complete. He's feeling sick to his stomach at the thought of turning in his attendance sheet and Abby making the call. What would happen to Murphy if he got sent back to the hospital? He had spent two years there before, would he be back just as long? Did Murphy even want to see him anymore? What if he didn't come out of this slump?

"Mr. Blake? Mr. Blake?" A soft voice interrupts his thoughts. He snaps out of his stupor and looks up. Maya's standing at his desk with her stack of sheets and a nervous look on her round face. 

"I'm sorry, what is it, Maya?" He asks quickly, embarrassed to be so out of it around his students. She sets the papers on his desk.

"Was there anymore work for the day?"

"No, no. Once you finish just leave the worksheets on your desks and you can head home." He addresses both her and the class. The sound of scribbling pencils picks up with fervor as they realize they have a chance to get out early. Maya gathers her things and heads for the door, but before she has a chance to even reach for the door knob it flies open and a familiar brunette breezes in. Bellamy can instantly tell something is wrong. Murphy's medication doesn't take effect immediately but there's something different about him. He's like a ball of energy as he makes a beeline directly for Bellamy's desk.

"Murphy, I didn't think you were showing up toda-"

"What work do we have?" Murphy shifts his weight from foot to foot, it's as if he can't possibly hold still for even a second. Bellamy, flustered, grabs a stack of worksheets for Murphy.

"Just these, you can stay la-"

"I'll turn them in next period. I can't stay." Murphy snatches the papers from Bellamy, again cutting him off. "I have plans."

"Murph, you can't just skip out on the class." Bellamy tries to be stern, tries to put his foot down. Murphy just winces and sucks his teeth. 

"That's not gonna work for me. Don't worry. I'll get these back to you." He turns around and heads for the door in a whirlwind. Bellamy briefly is reminded of the cartoon Tasmanian Devil, but much worse. He opens his mouth to call out for Murphy, but he's out the door before he even has a chance to say a word. Bellamy is left completely bewildered. He wants to get up and chase after Murphy, but he is glued to his seat. He knows if he gives chase it will raise questions, questions that will get back to Abby. No fraternization at work. No favoritism. He forces himself to look away from the door and looks back to his computer. He checks Murphy off as present.

 

 _"Hello?"_ He hears Emori's frazzled voice on the other line. He's in the car on his way home and can finally find out what's going on with Murphy.

"Hey, Emori. It's Bellamy."

"Hey, I'm sorry, I'm at work. I don't have long to talk. What's up?" Bellamy curses as someone abruptly cuts him off in traffic.

"Murphy came into my class and he was-"

"Acting weird." She interrupts him. A trait her and Murphy have in common. "Yeah, he was like that this morning. He's on an up swing. He'll party it out of his system and hopefully be back to normal soon. I tried to talk to him this morning but I'm on a eight to eight today at work, I can't take care of him right now." She sounds frustrated and worn down. Bellamy feels a pang of guilt bothering her about her ex boyfriend.

"Look, do you know where he is? Maybe I can talk to him." He tries to sound hopeful.

"I mean, you can try. I'm not sure where he'll be during the day, but he has a fake ID. He'll be at Camp tonight. It's that gay bar down on King Street. He always goes there and gets plastered when he's in one of these up swings." 

"I'll go." Bellamy says abruptly, he barely even thinks through his words. He's never been to a gay bar, he barely even goes to straight bars. "I'll find him and I'll talk to him."

"Okay, but..." Emori sounds hesitant. "He might not listen, Bellamy. This is what I meant about Murphy being high maintenance. He doesn't want help when he's like this. He doesn't want to be stopped. He feels invincible." He knows Emori is trying to keep him from getting his hopes up too high, but he's sure he can do it. He can get through to him.

"It'll be fine, I can do it. He'll listen to me. I'll make sure he gets home safe."

"Alright, I guess I'll see you tonight then..." Emori sounds unconvinced. "I have to get back to work. Keep me posted."

"Will do." He hangs up and within seconds he's dialing his sister's number.

"Bellamy." Her voice comes through the phone. She sounds odd. "I've been trying to get a hold of you."

"I was in class. Are you going to be home tonight?" 

"About that..." She's trailing off and normally Bellamy would push to find out what's wrong, but right now he's too caught up in his own head to worry about what new problem she has today.

"It's fine if you're out. I'm going to be out tonight. I'll leave some cash on the counter if you want to order out. Sound good?" 

"Yeah, that's fine. But, Bell, I really do need to talk to you." She presses insistently. "If you're busy tonight that's fine but can you be home tomorrow in person so we can talk?" 

"I'll try, I can't make any promises but I'll try. I'll see you later, okay, O?" He doesn't mean to brush her off, but lost in his thoughts about Murphy he can't help it.

"Yeah." She sounds curt and disappointed. "Love you, Bell."

"Yeah, yeah, love you too, O." He hangs up without a second thought.

 

Camp is not a bar. It sounds like a club as he approaches the door, ID ready. He can't remember the last time he went to a place like this. He almost certainly never came to a gay bar. It's past ten, all he can do is hope that Murphy is here. The bouncer at the door stands as he arrives. Bellamy holds out his ID without a word. The man snatches it away and carefully examines it. Bellamy thinks it's a bit overkill. He hasn't shaved in a few days and looks far from underage.

"I'm looking for someone. Kid just about an inch shorter than me, brunette, skinny." The bouncer hands his ID back with an incredulous expression. 

"You described just about half our business." He scoffs as Bellamy pockets his ID. "Good luck finding him."

Bellamy enters without trouble. Inside is dark and dimly lit. The whole place is packed, Bellamy has to squeeze and shove past people to make any kind of headway. The music is loud enough he can't even hear his own thoughts. He has no idea how he's going to find Murphy in this mess. He figures a good place to start would be the bar. Someone here has to recognize Murphy. Someone has seen him. He shoulders his way through the crowd to the bar. A blond in a tank top is behind the bar and smiles at him as Bellamy approaches.

"Hey, I'm looking for someone." Bellamy shouts over the music as he pulls out his cellphone. He hastily scrolls through his pictures to the one Murphy had sent him when they first started talking, the one of him and his kitten. He holds his phone and the bartender looks closely at the photo. The blond hesitates briefly, seemingly unwilling to answer.

"Yeah. He was in here with some guy. He bought him some drinks and went off." The bartender shrugs his shoulders. Bellamy is becoming quickly exasperated with this whole situation.

"Yeah? Well he's a fucking minor. If you see him send him to the bouncer." Bellamy snaps and storms off. He can't believe this shit. 

He spends some time looking around the club trying to find Murphy. No sign. It's been nearly an hour and still no sign. He's had to brush off more than one offer for a drink or a dance. He feels awkward, he stands out in his t-shirt and jeans. Finally he shoves past to the long back hallway that leads to the restrooms in the back. The music is more muted here and there's actually some privacy. He pulls his cellphone out and scrolls through his contacts until he finds Murphy's name. He holds his phone to his ear and listens to the dial tone. Suddenly something catches his attention from down the hall. Murphy's ringtone. He remembers Murphy getting a call while they were watching American Beauty, his ringtone is that DMX song from Deadpool. It sounds muffled and Bellamy realizes it's coming from the men's room a few feet away. He slowly approaches the bathroom door. It's definitely Murphy's ringtone, there's no mistaking it. Bellamy suddenly feels a pit in his stomach, a horrible gut instinct. He pushes the door open as quietly as possible. Murphy's seated on the edge of one of the sinks, Bellamy can tell his jeans are shoved halfway down his legs. He's slumped back against the mirror with his head back. His back is awkwardly arched away from the faucet. He looks pale and sweaty even from a distance. His eyes are closed and his phone is vibrating on the floor, ringing loudly in the empty stall. He can't see the face of the man between Murphy's legs but instantly he feels a spike of rage. Murphy's hands are hanging limply at his sides and doesn't even seem to register that the door is open or his phone ringing. The man has his face buried in Murphy's neck and Bellamy can tell he's whispering something. Before Bellamy can stop himself he's charging forward and throws the man off Murphy.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" Bellamy shouts, quickly putting himself between Murphy and the stranger.

"Jesus fucking Christ, the fuck is your problem?" The man shouts as he quickly zips his jeans back up and storms towards Bellamy. He's more concerned with Murphy. He looks to be unconscious and his hands have started twitching, his breathing laboring. Bellamy can clearly see reddening bite marks and purple and blue hickeys on his pale skin.

"What did you give him?" Bellamy demands to know, looking back to the man with his fists clenched. The man scoffs and runs his fingers through his red hair, playing casual.

"I didn't give him shit, he bought from me." He spits back at Bellamy. Bellamy can't control himself anymore. He takes a swing and lands a solid punch on the man's jaw.

"For fuck's sake he's nineteen, you fucking moron!" He shouts in a rage. "Get the fuck out of here, NOW!" Bellamy watches the man shove past him and make a hasty exit, clearly realizing he wouldn't win this fight. Bellamy quickly turns all his attention to Murphy and dragging his pants back up. Murphy makes a low gurgling groan, but his eyes don't open. "You're okay, Murph. We're going to get you back home." Bellamy mutters as he hauls Murphy off the swing. He swings the boy's limp arm around his shoulder and begins the trek back to the car.

 

"Bell? It's nearly midnight, what's going on?" Clarke's tired voice came through the speaker. Bellamy looked over his shoulder at Murphy laying in the backseat. He still hasn't spoken or opened his eyes. He's shivering and his lips are trembling and he's covered in a sheen of sweat. 

"Clarke, I know it's late and I'm sorry, but I promise this is an emergency." He hears the sound of cloth rustling a faint voice in the background. 

"What's wrong? Are you hurt?"

"No, no, I'm fine, it's... Murphy." Bellamy said hesitantly as the light turned green. He was trying his hardest not to drive like a maniac and get pulled over. He's hesitant to call Clarke, but he has no one else. "He took something, I don't know what, but I don't want him getting in trouble with his case worker."

"Shit. Hold on, I'm getting dressed. Is he vomiting, seizing, blue lips?" She asks. How she's staying so calm is beyond Bellamy. He's internally panicking right now. He takes another look at Murphy. 

"No, no. He hasn't opened his eyes and he's not saying anything either. He's twitching a bit, and he's really sweaty. He was drinking too." 

"Okay, text me the address where you're taking him. I'll meet you over there. Get him in bed and I'll check him out when I get over there." 

 

Clarke gets to the apartment less than five minutes after Bellamy gets inside and gets Murphy into bed. Emori must've let her in because she invites herself into Murphy's bedroom with Bellamy even hearing a knock on the front door. She rushes in and sets her bag down on the nightstand. "Hey." She gives Bellamy a rushed hello as she sits on the edge of Murphy's bed. Murphy is laying silently on his back, breathing shallowly. His jaw is clenched up and Bellamy can hear his teeth grinding together. Bellamy stands nervously at the foot of the bed, rubbing his pointer finger anxiously over his lips. Neither of them say a word as Clarke rifles through her bag and takes out a small pen flashlight. He feels a small pit of guilt in his stomach watching Clarke. Asking her over to take care of the new guy he was fucking wasn't exactly the most respectful thing he had done. She pulls his eyelid up and shines the light in his eyes, checks his pulse, his heartbeat, so far she doesn't look concerned. Finally she steps away and gives Bellamy a faint smile.

"He'll be fine, Bell, you can relax." She said softly. Bellamy exhales loudly and his shoulders sag heavily. "Whoever you were talking to gave him ecstasy. He was probably drinking before and after he took it. Just keep him on his side, keep an eye out and make sure he has plenty of water when he wakes up." Clarke rubs her eyes tiredly as she begins to put her things back in the bag. Bellamy feels even worse. He called her over in the middle of the night for nothing essentially. It's nearly half past midnight now.

"Thank you. I'm sorry to drag you over here and get you involved in all of this, Clarke." Bellamy apologizes quietly, his back to Clarke. He hears her give a soft little sigh as the bed sinks and she sits next to him. 

"It's okay, Bellamy. You were scared. It's okay to call me for favors. We both haven't been very adult about this whole breakup. I admit, I was kind of a bitch when I realized what was going on with you and Murphy. I was just concerned for you. I didn't want you throwing away your career over a guy, but it's not my place to be on your case about that kind of thing anymore." She gives a little laugh and shakes her head, her curls bouncing. She looks to him and bites her bottom lip. Bellamy knows that look anywhere.

"Speak now or forever hold your peace, Clarke." It feels good to laugh a bit. Clarke looks nervous, but finally speaks.

"I just... Are you sure about this guy, Bell? You guys are eight years apart, he's your student, and this? Going out to clubs, drinking, doing drugs... It's not really your thing anymore, Bell. I know we're not together anymore, but I don't want to see you get hurt. Which, yes, I am aware is hypocritical of me to say after what happened between us." Clarke says quickly before he has a chance to say the same thing. Bellamy looks over his shoulder. Murphy is still lying absolutely still. He looks so soft and peaceful, vulnerable almost. He looks his age now. Awake Murphy always looks so focused and in his own head he looks so much older. Now, sleeping, even like this, he looks at peace. Bellamy looks back to Clarke.

"I don't know. Honestly, I don't. But, I like spending time with him. I want to help him." He said softly. Clarke nods understandingly and suddenly reaches out and places a gentle hand over his.

"Don't get so caught up fixing him that you ignore your own needs, Bell." She warns him softly. She stood up after a moment of silence. "I better get going. I'm glad you called me. He's going to be okay." Clarke comforted.

"I'll walk you to the door. I think I'm going to crash on the couch so I can see how he's doing in the morning." Bellamy stood up as well.

"Oh, no, it's fine, Bellamy. I'll see myself out." Clarke says in a rush, but Bellamy shakes his head as he moves towards the bedroom door.

"No, it's the least I can do." Bellamy trails off as he pulls open the bedroom door and looks into the living room. There's a woman sitting on the couch, an unfamiliar woman. She's dressed in a stark, navy blue police uniform. Her dark hair was pulled back into a tight, sleek ponytail high on her head There's a thick line of liner on her top lid and a gloss on her full lips. She has sharp cheekbones and angled features, her dark eyes are sharp and lock in on Bellamy as soon as he steps into the living room, Clarke slinking in behind him. A smile appears on the woman's face and she stands when she lays eyes on the blonde. Emori is sitting in the arm chair adjacent to the couch with a mug in her hand and a stony look on her face. She must have been awoken when Clarke knocked. Bellamy quickly realizes just who exactly she is when Clarke goes to stand next to her and the dark haired woman presses a chaste kiss onto her cheek.

"My car's in the shop right now. She was getting off patrol when you called so she took me over." Clarke sounds almost guilty, and Bellamy feels a bit of a pain in his gut. He's not sure why, he knew Clarke had left him for her, but to see them in person was reminding him of the night she left all over. Lexa steps forward and extends a hand to Bellamy.

"Bellamy, right? I've heard a lot about you. I'm Lexa."


End file.
